Dating. Long Distance Relationships. Love Compatibility. Marriage Airline pilots are one of the professional groups which make a good deal of money. If you are lucky to have one as a partner you can sit back and enjoy the nice places they take you out to dine or the lovely presents they shower on you. However you also have to remember that not all pilots take home the same kind of pay check; those who are just starting their careers may be under a lot of debt since flying schools are insanely expensive Airline pilots are sometimes known to get involved in affairs and relationships with pretty airhostesses or stewards. This doesn’t happen all the time.
Due to my line of work as a full-time pilot, people sometimes assume that I don’t have the time for a committed relationship. It’s certainly not easy to have a girlfriend when I’m traveling from country to country. But, believe it or not, there are ways to make a long distance relationship work. Both parties have to be fully committed to each other and their relationship. They can also agree to . You need a high level of trust for this, though. Here are a few ways to have a successful long distance relationship.
Meet Each Others’ Needs Everyone has different needs in a relationship; one partner might like texting every few hours, while the another prefers a phone call every other day instead. This doesn’t change when a relationship goes long distance. What does change is that meeting each other’s needs becomes a little more difficult. Be sure to communicate with your partner and find out what type of communication they’d prefer. A few examples are video chat, phone calls, texting, and streaming movies together online.
Even a cell phone spy app can help you feel connected. This kind of program will allow you to , online activity, and GPS location. You should also establish how frequently you both want to talk to each other. Have an End Date Visiting each other can feel like a vacation, but you should make plans to eventually live together. Ideally, a long distance relationship shouldn’t be permanent.
It’s much better for both parties when there’s an end date in sight, where you two can be together in person again. I’m not talking about just visiting each other when possible. Besides that, you should eventually so you can share your daily lives. I may be constantly traveling for work, but I’m at home in Philly when I’m off. That’s why I usually try to date other people within this city. Don’t Put Your Life on Hold You need to , whether your significant other is by your side or not.
Don’t put off trying new things and spending time with friends because your love isn’t physically there with you. Both of you need to continue living your lives, even though you can’t be together right now. Don’t lose sight of your hobbies and the other things in life that bring you joy. Depending too much on your boyfriend or girlfriend, or building your entire life around them, can lead to unhealthy codependency.
Fortunately, long distance relationships aren’t as hard as they used to be. Technology and social media have made it easier to keep in touch. Plus, there are mobile apps available to help you stay connected, such as a cell phone spy tracker. If you’re interested in learning more about why you should use social media, .
best dating a pilot long distance relationship - Long Distance Relationship Quotes
Whether you’re a girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife to an airline pilot, you already know the challenges (and perks) that come with this role. Pilots live a life on the go, and time apart from their partners is unavoidable.
With long 3-4 day trips away each week, minimum time at home, and short notice scheduling, it takes a strong commitment to maintain a healthy relationship with a pilot. Most people who have never dated or been married to a pilot, hold an assumption that all pilots have affairs or are untrustworthy.
With good-looking crewmembers, long overnights in different cities, how could they not be unfaithful, right?!
The fact is that yes pilots are constantly being placed in situations that could welcome cheating, but the reality is people are disloyal in their relationships regardless of their profession, and not all pilots fall under this general stereotype. Dating or marrying a pilot does however take a certain type of person. If you are someone who hates to be alone, has trust issues, or doesn’t like to travel, you might want to find a spouse on the ground with a 9-5 kind of job!
But for those of you who love your partners in the sky, here are some tips for helping to maintain that strong, lasting relationship!
Communication: This is by far the most important part of any relationship, but it is especially important when dating a pilot. Pilots spend days away from their families, creating constant communication challenges. During flight pilots are unable to be reached, and when on the ground they may be in a completely different time zone that is unfavorable to those at home.
These challenges can easily create relationship problems if not dealt with properly. There are many pilots who have fallen into the habit of not checking in as often as they should with their spouses. I.e. what hotel they are staying at, which flight they are working, what their plans are during their overnight, etc.
This lack of communication can create insecurities or questions about what is really happening while away on their trips. It can also lead a pilot down a slippery slope, by creating a relationship that doesn’t require regular check-ins or one that doesn’t hold them accountable for their actions.
Creating a healthy relationship starts with communication, and will eliminate any room for mistrust or uncertainty. With today’s technology there is no excuse not to have regular interaction with your loved ones. Share flight numbers so that you can check in on your partner’s flight progress. This will add a sense of security, especially when pilots can’t always be reached by air. Have your partner text you when they land safely or arrive to hotel.
Use Facetime or Skype to check-in and talk face-to-face, helping to ease the feelings of long distance. Share dinner plans, who they will be with and when they get back to hotel room. Creating an environment that requires regular communication does not mean that you don’t trust your pilot, it means that you’ve built a healthy foundation to deal with the distance.
It’s when your partner starts keeping the little details secret, like what hotel they are staying at, that you should start to question their intentions. Be Flexible: Dating an airline pilot means that you constantly have to adjust your life around their schedule. The majority of pilots flying today only receive their schedules for the following month a few weeks ahead of time.
This means that unless they have scheduled vacation, you will likely be playing a guessing game on whether or not they will have a specific holiday or weekend off. Pilots who fly reserve lines, meaning they are on-call, live day-to-day unsure of whether or not they will get used. Even though they may be at home, there is always a chance they will get called into work last minute.
For those pilots who hold a regular line, it may take many years before they gain access to an improved or more flexible schedule. So in order to adapt to a pilots unpredictable schedule, the best advice is not to get hung up on important dates. You will likely have to celebrate birthdays on a different day, spend holidays apart, or plan your weekends together month by month.
Be flexible and willing to adjust, even if it means making small sacrifices along the way. Create a support team at home: When you’re dating or married to a pilot, you can’t always live near your family and friends.
Pilots are usually based out of a specific hub, and sometimes this hub is not within easy commuting distance from your hometown. In certain situations, you need to be willing to move to a city that your partner’s airline flies out of, in turn taking you miles away from your nearest family member.
Unfortunately this can be a challenge when you have kids, especially when you need the extra support that your family can provide while your spouse is away. Fortunately though, one of the many perks of being with a pilot is that you have flight benefits. This means that you can fly home to see your loved ones as often as you’d like, or if available, you can use buddy passes to fly them in to see you. The best advice for creating a strong support team is to get to know the partners and spouses of other pilots.
Not surprisingly, some of your greatest support will come from the people who understand this lifestyle best, and who know all about the day-to-day challenges that you face. The best part about these friends is that you can hold fun get-togethers like “Pilot Wives Thanksgiving”, so when your spouses are away during the holidays, you can get together with those who are experiencing the same thing.
Find a hobby: Another important tip in our survival guide is discovering your own passions and hobbies. The biggest mistake you can make when dating an airline pilot is depending on them to fill up your social life.
The reality is, pilots are away a lot working and when they are home, you might find them needing to sleep off their jet lag. It’s up to you to find ways to occupy your free time. Don’t sit at home on evenings and weekends feeling sorry for yourself, get out there and get involved. Join a yoga class, learn photography, take cooking lessons, or do as I did and start a blog!!
Take an interest in their job: Flying is truly fascinating and there is so much to learn about it beyond just traveling from point A to point B. When you take an interest in your partner’s profession and really try to understand what their job actually entails, you will more likely be invested in conversations.
Pilots love what they do, so make an effort to understand what it is that excites them. Travel together: If you’re lucky enough to be with an airline pilot, then take advantage of the travel perks that come with it. Pilots love to travel; otherwise they wouldn’t be in this profession.
So be willing to get on a plane and go see the world together. With access to unlimited flight options and cheap hotel deals, why wouldn’t you.
During the periods when your pilot is away working on long trips, there is no need to sit at home. Use your travel benefits to go somewhere. Jump on a flight by yourself or better yet, go meet him/her on their overnight.
If available, you could also give a friend a buddy pass and share in the experience of travel with someone who might not get the opportunity otherwise! Have a tip for our survival guide? Share below, we’d love to hear from you!! Comments comments
“You do realize that— as long as you work for this company— any relationship you choose to be in will be long distance, right? Or, at least, the relationship will always have an element of that.” The space between us lay quiet for a minute while the weight of my words settled into his consciousness. This time, he didn’t spoof the very American way I said ‘Riiiight’ at the end of my sentences.
Instead, in his very French way, he dejectedly sighed. “I know. I know.” It was this short conversation that clicked my curious spirit awake. Why is it that we are so apprehensive to invest our heart, time, and soul when a relationship doesn’t fit into our ‘boxes?’ “Oh, she lives so far away.” “Oh, he’s a pilot.” “Well, she or he doesn’t have ‘Christian,’ ‘Career-driven,’ ‘Intelligent,’ ‘Future Mom,’ ‘Incredible Dad,’ ‘Never Married,’ ‘Wealthy,’ [Fill In The Blank With Too Much Expectation] written on his or her forehead.
That’s most likely true that you won’t see any of these cues, tipping you off to an important message; like the currently popular bright neon signs that blink sharply in corner-lit bars and hipster hangouts do. Photo originally seen on by David Norwich Blatantly obvious matches, or easy relationships, will not appear simply because and meet .
It’s going to take time to really see who someone is, and if you are willing to cut someone out due to the size of the ocean between you because, “It’s just not realistic—” let me ask you something: Subscribe!
When has love ever been realistic? I understand the difficulties in long distance, but what I don’t understand is this aversion to long distance dating.
Long distance relationships are more prevalent— and likely— in 2017 than ever before. The way we meet, date, and interact is a byproduct of , the greater percentage of jobs available which require travel, and an insatiable appetite for . We also desire to maintain a sense of independence and autonomy for a longer period of our lives.
The majority of individuals would not choose long-distance-over-not, but when the guy down the street is, shrug-your-shoulders “alright,” of course we entertain love traveling elsewhere.
What is ‘long-distance’ anyway? If you ask me to exclusively date someone who lives on the Eastside while , you have just requested that I invest in a relationship that will require me to drive 2hrs in each direction.
Technically, that makes my imaginary lover and I in a long distance relationship— even when we technically live in the same town!
Maybe distance is relative. What is long distance to a flight attendant and pilot is a much different concept than it is for the person who has a difficult time getting any more days besides Saturdays or Sundays away from the office.
Crew on the other hand— we don’t even know the word, ‘ Weekend.’ The truth is, that when you fly across the Atlantic or Pacific pond— every other day— distance appears and disappears quickly. So, ‘What is distance?’ Space happens when people are pulled in different directions at break-neck speeds. What’s worse than kilometers apart is emotional distance. For you can sit right next to someone; share intimate moments and hold conversation, but be millions of miles away. Being present isn’t just about taking up a physical space.
So, we say we know how to navigate the weird ways our career gets in the way of connection. We say, “We don’t do long distance.” We say, “I’ve done that before, and it didn’t work.” We boast about our realistic views of life and love. We would never date flight attendants, and of course, pilots are out of the question. There are those boxes again. Our relationship goals, dates, significant potentials, and tinder swipes become after-thoughts to our job— the one that has us fitfully falling asleep in foreign cities and waking up to a predictable breakfast of rubbery piss-yellow eggs and motor oil colored burnt coffee.
Oh, this isn’t all of our layovers, but all of our layovers do color our world-view. It’s the lifestyle that so colorfully tints the way we view love. The way we understand possibility. The way we say we don’t believe, but are still secretly hoping— somewhere deep within us— that we meet ‘our person’ who proves the pessimism to shit.
The narratives begin in our minds and continue in our reality. Relationships are ruined by the airline lifestyle, we bemoan. Relationships are ruined by finances. Relationships are ruined by differing approaches to parenting, God, the way the house is cleaned, who didn’t take the trash out. Relationships are under fire more than ever before— to be ruined and to ruin you.
Never has it been so hard to make a relationship; distance or not, work. But, never has it been so possible. Cause, really, isn’t it a matter of perspective? Isn’t love a choice in the end anyway? This could all be bull-shit, and I don’t know what-the-hell I am talking about.
That’s fair, but whether I die an old-maid or not, I would rather believe in and express the story of good, kind, genuine, caring, authentic, brave, committed, and long-lasting love in the aviation industry. I also believe that if you have a pilot or flight attendant by your side, or in question, see what you will learn.
It’s worth dating them. It’s worth the adventure. Isn’t it said, “Love is the greatest adventure of all.” When someone tells me that they don’t do long-distance, I wonder if they, “Don’t do long-distance” or “They don’t do long-distance with me?” Or, can we throw in the third option of— “You won’t do long-distance with me, because of her?” I know for myself that, when it matters, I’ll deal with distance.
I think you would, too; if it matters. It’s not my first choice. It’s not a choice I’d make with everyone. It’s not the ideal, but you know when it’s worth trying for. Distance can make the stakes higher, risks more prominent, and facts dicey. due to flight departure schedules and that damned wifi-connection. Have you ever noticed how the connection predictably cuts out during a heated moment— when you needed to catch the most critical phrase?
What you end up fielding instead of important information is that all-too familiar ‘beep-beep-beep’ of Whatsapp trying to reconnect. Yeah. We are trying here though, aren’t we? We are trying to live everywhere, do everything, and be available for someone to love us and be there to love them. Is it possible? Is it probable? Does it work when you are a flight attendant or pilot? Yes. I’m telling you 100 percent, hands-down, heads-up, arms open; that it can work, but it— that ever complex relationship thing— takes time.
Think how great our relationships would be is if we devoted as much attention to them as we did to our jobs? Our adventures? Our responsibilities? Just think. You get out of life what you are willing to put into it. It’s not going to always be pretty. It won’t always make sense. You may cheat. You may already have. You are going to break his heart. He might have crushed yours to bits.
The best things in life are not safe, comfortable, or sure. And, if you keep flying, at some point, you’ll have to determine, “Is the distance worth the reward?” I’ll never be a realist. I realize that I probably have a much too idealistic view of the world and who I will have in my life, but as children, isn’t that why we always loved a good fairytale? I said it before, “When is love ever realistic?”
Pros & Cons of Dating a Pilot