Well that about sums up the current relationship I have with my best and very first friend upon my arrival at college. After studying abroad, I expected a lot of things to change upon my return and a lot of my relationships with people to do the same. But what I didn't expect from a hug and conversation with one of my truest friends was for it to go from one of excitement to anger and annoyance so quickly I assumed the privileged were still acting privileged - private college problems - or that she and her then ex/current/ex boyfriend had officially broken up and gone their separate ways. But instead, I got that “I'm actually liking it here and I have real friends” and “I'm happier than ever”.
The Girl Code states that you should NEVER date your best friend’s ex. But, every rule has an exception. What if you and he develop a relationship many years after he and your bestie broke up? The rule just wouldn’t make sense then, right? But, what if your bestie tells you that she still has strong feelings for him despite having broken up years ago? What would you do then? We know it’s tough and we understand your pain.
So, if you’re in this boat now and you’re wondering how to sail the seas smoothly, here’s how you know when dating your best friend’s ex-boyfriend is a no and when it’s a go. Dating your best friend’s ex-boyfriend is a NO when: He cheated on your best friend. If his infidelity is the reason why their relationship came to an end, forget about the guy.
If he cheated on your closest friend, who says he won’t do the same thing to you? You can’t prove that he’s a changed man. Lastly, losing a friend you’ve been with for years. Their breakup was very recent.
Maybe you had a secret thing for this guy already even when he and your best friend were still together, and now that they parted ways, you think there’s a chance for the two of you. While that may be possible, it’s important that you wait.
Wait for your friend to heal and move on. You don’t want her thinking that you were just waiting for them to break up and, now that it has happened, you’ll jump on her ex-boyfriend without caring how that will make her feel. Their breakup was messy. If they didn’t part ways amicably, they may still have unresolved issues. They might get back together when things have settled down a bit or they might hate each other forever.
Whatever the situation, don’t date your best friend’s former man. If you do, you’ll just add insult to injury. At the very least, you should wait and see what happens to their relationship and then decide what to do. She’s not over him yet. You know your best friend is when she reacts badly to the mention of his name.
If remembering him pushes her to tears or makes her explode, it means the wounds are still fresh, so you should respect her and give her time to move on. Dating your best friend’s ex-boyfriend is a GO when: Their breakup was mutual and there were no hard feelings. If they both decided to end the relationship because it was not working for them, and you know there aren’t any hard feelings between them, then it’s a good sign.
Your best friend may not mind if you date her ex-boyfriend. Just be sure to let her know about your intentions and see how she reacts. If she does not flip out on you, it’s a go! It has been a long time since they broke up. If it’s been several months or even a year since they went their separate ways, then you’ve probably waited enough time for your best friend to heal.
They remained friends after the breakup. While people seldom stay friends with their former partners (it’s another tricky thing), if they’re both in other relationships and are now happy and content, your best friend may not care about you dating her ex-boyfriend.
This is the best situation and one where jealousy and awkward feelings rarely occur. So, go ahead and ask your bestie for her blessing. She’s moved on from him. If your BFF is already in a committed relationship, one where you see that she’s happy and serious, that means she’s moved on. Talk to her and confide about how you feel; if she really is your best friend, she will understand your dilemma.
She will appreciate your honesty, having waited for the perfect time and respecting her situation. She’ll surely give you the green light to date her ex after your heart-to-heart talk. Now that you have clear guidelines on when it’s alright to date your best friend’s ex-boyfriend, use your best judgment when making a decision. Always proceed with caution and love. We hope you not only get the guy but, more importantly, you keep your best friend’s friendship and love. Have you ever loved an ex of your best friend?
How did it go for you? Do you have any additional tips and advice for other women in this situation? Share your thoughts and words of wisdom in the comments!
im dating my ex boyfriends best friend - Quotes About Best Friend Dating Ex Boyfriend: top 2 Best Friend Dating Ex Boyfriend quotes from famous authors
Dear Heather, My ex-boyfriend and I broke up a few months ago. We had the most amazing relationship – we were so close and we talked about and shared everything. But, things weren’t working out, so it ended. Now, I have a crush on his best friend. His best friend is also a good friend of mine and I don’t know how, but I have just fallen for him.
It gets even more confusing because I still miss my ex and I still have feelings for him, even though he has a new girlfriend! Is it normal that I have feelings for both my ex and his best friend? And what should I do about his friend – should I make a move or is that wrong? Please help. It definitely seems like you’ve gotten yourself in a little bit of a tricky emotional situation.
Liking two guys at one time is hard enough on it’s own and things get even more complicated when those dudes are friends. Honestly though, it sounds to me like you’re not ready to jump into a relationship with a new guy yet, even though you have a crush on him. You still have feelings for your ex, which is completely normal.
It takes a while to get over someone you really cared about. But because you have these lingering feelings, I would suggest staying single and doing your own thing for a little while.
You could be liking your ex’s BFF as a rebound crush, so dating him wouldn’t be fair to either of you. But that doesn’t mean you can’t explore these feelings in some way. Don’t feel guilty about liking your ex-boyfriend’s best friend. Yes, it’s not an ideal crush, but it’s also not the end of the world.
We can’t help who we like and sometimes we like people that others don’t want us to like (that was a lot of likes right there). If you’re really into this guy and you think he’s into you too, you have a choice: you can try something with him and risk making your ex mad, or you can move on and try to meet someone else.
Truthfully, you don’t owe your ex-boyfriend anything – he has a new girlfriend and seems to have had moved on. He can’t tell you who you can or can’t date, so while being with his best friend may sound harsh, you need to do what makes you happy.
If you want to try dating this guy, I would give things some time. Let things between you two progress naturally. Keep talking to him and flirting with him without making a move into any type of serious relationship. Feel him out to see what he wants. But seriously, please don’t rush into anything until you feel like you’re completely over your ex. It’s okay to have feelings for two different people, but it’s not fair to anyone to date one of them while you like someone else.
Give yourself time to figure things out on your own before you make a move to be with anyone. take care, Heather What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at Okay so like i dated one of my good friends but it didnt really work out we still talk now and then but like im friends with some of his friends still and i talk to one of them probably everyday and I’ve started having a crush on him… i don’t know if i should act on those feelings because i don’t want to ruin their friendship, or the friendship i have with him… i just don’t know what to do ?
• that helped alot but my ex’s bestbfriend i dont hink he likes me and im to afraid to ask if he does and i already know that my ex is okay with it because he told me and i dont know how he found i like his friend but he does and im really exploding with fear that he will tell his friend i like him wht should i do •
i know this sounds terrible. but ive liked my best friend's boyfriend for over 6 months now. and after they broke up , we started dating. i have... i know this sounds terrible. but ive liked my best friend's boyfriend for over 6 months now. and after they broke up , we started dating. i have depression so i'm sort of constantly down, and when we started dating i was the happiest i'd been in months.
i thought everything was great until i realized how much it was hurting my best friend. she told him TON of times to ask me out, and acted sooo happy for us and it was believable but im not so sure anymore.
i hate that no matter what i can never really do anything to make myself happy. what do i do?! do i keep dating him? Or should i just cut it off--which would ultimately depress me even more, but would make my friend happy.
im just so confused. does anyone have any advice? Have you actually talked about it with your best friend. Do you really know if it bothers her that much as you believe it does? Did she ever get over the... Have you actually talked about it with your best friend.
Do you really know if it bothers her that much as you believe it does? Did she ever get over the break-up? If not maybe you should have a talk about that. Fact is though, he is her ex. You two started dating, you two are happy. Their relationship is over, you didn't steel anyone, so to say, you did nothing wrong. Therefor it is up to you to decide if you want to be happy and thereby selfish or make yourself more miserable than now and break up with him.Keep im in mind as well.
He does not have a problem with dating the best friend of his ex. Being best friends means to stick to the good and bad times, even that means for one to except the sad reality. when i saw this question im like, how is this girl in the exact same situation as me? read my question, its just like yours, the link is at the bottom.... when i saw this question im like, how is this girl in the exact same situation as me? read my question, its just like yours, the link is at the bottom.
ok, here's what i thought while i was thinking about my situation. i thought about if she still had feelings for him and if she was ok with it. of course she acted all happy and stuff but you could tell she still likes him. im not dating him yet... ive hesitated because im scared it might hurt her feelings, even though she insists its ok. just yesterday, she made me furious by telling him to ask me out, something i wanted to do on my own when i was ready. i feel the same way. i never wanted to actually go out with him because i knew she'd get mad and jealous and i'd just end up in another stupid dramatic mess.
so my advice is keep dating him if it makes you happy. even though it makes you feel sh!tty. im sure your best friend is feeling the same way that she wants to make you happy.
its only a small step in the life you're about to live. good luck, i hope you feel better! Asking costs 5 points and then choosing a best answer earns you 3 points!
Questions must follow • Media upload failed. You can try again to add the media or go ahead and post the answer • Media upload failed. You can try again to add the media or go ahead and post the question • Uploaded image is less than minimum required 320x240 pixels size.
• Sorry, file format is not supported. • You can only upload image with size less than 5 MB. • You can only upload video with size less than 60 MB. • Generating Preview • Go ahead and post your answer.
Uploaded video will be live after processing. • Go ahead and post your question. Uploaded video will be live after processing. • Sending request... • This may take one or two minutes • Uploading...
I DATED MY BEST FRIEND'S EX?