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Bragging Rights: sharing the sweetest story we’ve heard this month John does what he does best by using his humor to tell us how time, space, physics and even aliens all contribute to one thing: the sweet and perfect memory of falling in love.
This is a story you’ll want to show everyone. Social Clout: 967,000+ followers, 21,255+ likes Bragging Rights: allowing us to feel vulnerable (in a good way) This woman is a researcher of vulnerability, so we know to believe Brene when she tells us how human connection works.
She shares parts of her research that sent her on a personal quest to understand herself as well as humanity. Social Clout: 298,000+ likes, 174,000+ followers Bragging Rights: making a better formula for love Amy was no stranger to the perils of online dating. In an effort to improve her game, she took her love of data and made her own matchmaking algorithm, thus hacking the way online dating is typically done and meeting her husband along the way.
Social Clout: 12,300+ followers, 228+ likes Bragging Rights: explaining how love is what it is An anthropologist who really understands love – that’s Helen. Fortunately she’s willing to share what she knows. She’ll walk you through the evolution of it, its biochemical foundations and the importance it has in our society today. Social Clout: 11,600+ followers, 6,700+ likes Bragging Rights: making relationships last Here’s a woman who knows long-term relationships have two conflicting needs: the need for surprise and the need for security.
It seems impossible these two should be able to balance, but guess what? She lets us in on the secret. Social Clout: 7,273+ likes, 6,519+ followers Bragging Rights: telling us the truth about marriage Jenna tells us how it really is with the surprising research behind how marriages (especially happy ones) actually work. As it turns out, we do not want to try to win the Oscar for best actor or actress – who knew? Social Clout: 5,249+ followers, 2,281+ likes Bragging Rights: getting rid of that baseball analogy This sex ed teacher sure knows what he’s talking about.
Instead of posing us with a comparison based on a game with winners and losers, why not use one where everyone benefits? Learn how sex is really more like pizza.
Social Clout: 462+ likes, 107+ followers Bragging Rights: justifying our technological addiction Stefana shares some pretty great news: social media use, texting and instant messaging are not driving intimacy from our relationships. In fact, they’re bringing us closer together, allowing love to cross old barriers. Social Clout: 170+ followers About The Author As the editor-in-chief of DatingAdvice.com, I oversee content strategy, social media engagement, and media opportunities.
When I'm not writing about cheese or my 20-year love affair with Leonardo DiCaprio, I'm listening to The Beatles, watching Harry Potter reruns (I'm a proud Slytherin!), or drinking IPAs. Disclaimer: Great efforts are made to maintain reliable data on all offers presented.
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best ted talks dating algorithm - 5 best TED talks on data analytics for business leaders
I've had some conversations lately about online dating. If you've been around this blog since last year, you know I tried online dating for like....a month...last December. I've had two good friends get married off eHarmony this year, so I'm not a disbeliever in online dating by any means. But, I'm not convinced it's for me. For one thing, both those marriages resulted from long-distance dating.
Let me tell you, long-distance dating is.....not my strength. Let's put it that way. Recently I had all these crazy thoughts about doing an experiment in which I try out different dating sites (even Tinder, the infamous people-swear-by-it-but-I'm-not-convinced-it-wouldn't-make-me-feel-like-a-cheap-piece-of-meat app) and then blog about my preconceived notions and whether or not they were proven true.
I don't know, that blog experiment is still up for debate. (Not fully convinced it wouldn't just stress me out.) (But it could be good for me.) (Would you read it?) So, it was timely when I came across this amazingly funny TED Talk about how this woman hacked online dating. Not saying I'm planning on doing any hacking, but this woman is smart and hilarious. I wish I had been there in person to laugh in the audience until I cried. There's just something about her that I relate to!
So if you have a little less than 20min to kill, perhaps something to watch during lunch or before bed, here you have it! I'd love to hear your thoughts. I love that she completely uses the system to her advantage and that she put the time and effort it took to make it happen. Personally, I have done online dating before and felt like a useless slab of meat but the way that she divided the information and established criteria is inspiring.
Also I adore TED talks. They are always so interesting. It IS a fascinating and totally entertaining talk, but it's worth keeping in mind that her strategies aren't going to work well for all singles. As an online dating coach, I was actually worried people would use her system and become even more frustrated, so I blogged some counter-advice . Basically, what I think made Amy's hacking so successful was the extraordinary amount of effort she spent working against the system instead of lazily relying on it!
Wow, that was so interesting and funny! I really liked it and thought she was super clever. Thoughts I had as I watched.. -Steve the IT guy! Omg, I don't know what I would have done if I were her with a $1000 bill to foot. People like him keep other people verrry afraid of things like online dating haha -I love that she made up her own algorithm, and from the way she explained it was helpful so that anyone could do it, it'd just be time-consuming.
And although it was for online dating, I think thinking about some of that stuff in real-life dating could work too. -I LOVE that she found love (just from watching that video I could tell he worked with her personality) and my heart melted when she said they named their daughter Petra.
Adorable. Thanks for sharing! (sorry for the long comment haha) Asian nationalities possess transsexualism seated within their very first fictional is effective. Hindu Our god Vishnu took the form your Hindus realize because Mohini (a female kind of Vishnu) along with Shiva isn't special on this value either.
Our creator Shiva's variety often known as Ardhanarishvara is usually just the perfect symbolization involving transsexualism, given it displays both the transsexual lady along with a .
I’ve Amy Webb before, and her book . She recently on the same subject, which is pretty darn entertaining. But of course, being an online dating coach with lots of experience and strong opinions, I have to pick apart her approach and warn you away from the aspects I think might harm you more than they help you.
So go have a watch, and then let’s discuss! I appreciate that Amy likens online dating to the traditional Schadchen, or Jewish matchmaker. The idea of making matches based on practical compatibility components has been around for generations. However, traditional matchmaking also evolved in a world when marriage was vitally important to society in a way that it no longer is.
In that vein, I think it’s important to keep in mind that a list of your Perfect Mate Metadata demands can exist, sure, but it has to be a list that can flex and get reexamined in a less obsessively data-driven lens, because we live in a world that’s far more subtle and nuanced than a Mensch spreadsheet.
I don’t think Amy would agree with me here; her spreadsheet approached worked great for her. And if it works for you, too, then hooray!
But I’ve met and worked with oh so many singles for whom a list of qualifications has continually backfired. At the end of her love story, Amy made this meticulous complicated number threshold and exactly ONE guy met her bar.
This one worked for her, which is fantastic, but I can tell you from experience (as a dater AND an online dating coach) that setting complicated requirement bars is often NOT the path to a data-driven happy ending. Your mileage may vary, like, a LOT. Amy sharply noted that online dating success is dependent on both great qualitative and great quantitative data. This means your actual content must be fantastic, but that factors such as content length and frequency of optimistic words and placement of humor snippets are also crucial.
I agree wholeheartedly; however, that doesn’t mean you can rely on a tag cloud of positive terms like she showed. (That makes for a good slideshow, but not a good profile!) You’ve got to find non-clichéd ways to sound optimistic, funny, and charming in order to stand out; this is especially true for all guys and for older women.
I hate to make generalizations, but it’s true demographically speaking. I know; being this damn charming is harder than it sounds! (Why do you think I have a job? Note that I write waaaay more in my blog and than I do in my clients’ profiles.) Amy also states that “non-specific language” is a hallmark of solid online daters, but I utterly disagree here! In most cases, specific details are the best way to stand out from other profiles, to seem more like a human than just a profile URL, and to reach users who are astute enough to tinker around with manual searches on specific terms or titles.
Yes, it’s possible someone might be dismissive about your love of The English Patient (her example), but generally, if you annotate your media passions with something that shows a little wit or self-deprecation, or provides a window into your thought process, then you’re going to be able to win over those few skeptics, and your writing style will be a breath of fresh air compared to the many boring and boilerplate profiles out there.
The devil really is in the details; referencing specifics paints an emotional picture for the reader; it humanizes you; it makes strangers want to get to know you better. This “don’t use specifics” element was the part of Amy’s presentation I found the most surprising and with which I most strongly disagree. In the beginning of her talk, Amy characterizes the algorithmic matching of online dating sites as working well; she states that it fails largely because of user-generated input.
I just don’t think that’s true. Even when you input excellent data, I don’t think leaning on an algorithm to do the matching part for you is the recipe for romantic success. Neither does Amy to my mind, if you read her full book and watch her full talk; instead of leaning on the system to match her up, she put in a WHOLE LOT of very human effort, even if she did so in the framework a data visualizer.
Making spreadsheets and crunching compatibility scores and creating fake profiles to meticulously study market behavior is hardly just letting the algorithm do its thing, you know? But Amy doesn’t reframe her approach to draw the same conclusion that I do, which is that less data-y and more human behaviors are what usually leads you to online dating success. Amy behaved like a human who happens to have a penchant for data, but she didn’t behave like the kind of algorithm sites like eHarmony and OkCupid are using to suggest potential dates to you.
At the end of her TED talk, Amy concludes that “There is an algorithm for love, it’s just not the ones we’re being presented with.” This is obviously a fantastic sound bite, but I think it creates a false sense of reliance on algorithms. Amy’s own personal algorithm worked for Amy specifically, but its primary characteristic was a ton of effort on her part.
Most of my clients wouldn’t do well to mimic her approach, but they WOULD do well to put out the same amount of energy in different ways than Amy did. And hey, there are going to be a handful of people for whom Amy’s Way is a total home run.
But for the others, here’s a strategy for online dating success, combining Amy Elements and Virginia Advice: 1) Reflect on yourself and what you want out of a life partner, but don’t let those metrics take over your search for love completely.
2) Put a lot of effort into making your profile fantastic and intelligent and snappy, yet keep it brief. 3) Communicate with potential love interests in a friendly, proactive, practical, yet never excessive manner; this will naturally optimize responses from potential matches.
4) Make sure every single damn photo of you is fantastically flattering yet realistic, and especially pay attention to the main one. 5) Go on a lot of different dates, including with people you don’t think you’ll necessarily end up in a relationship with. 6) Eventually fall in love with someone who seemingly meets and then ultimately exceeds your criteria—BECAUSE YOU CLICK IN PERSON, and because you’ve had enough data-driven analysis and measured exposure to lesser candidates that you recognize what value this person brings to the table, even if they weren’t someone you would have picked out of a lineup.
She created both. Fake males so she could see what kinds of women were responding to the type of men she thought she wanted, and fake women of different heights and attractiveness levels and hair colors and education levels. She really dug in deep with the fake profile making. Personally, I find that both off-putting (so much dishonesty out there) and exhausting (for such a boring payoff), but it’s what worked for her!
It sounds like you’ve been scouring all the free versions of her talk, when what you really want is to read the whole deep dive of the book. It’s pretty darn entertaining. Just buy a copy! Here, I’ll even make you a new affiliate link, haha: .
Silly title, good read!
The mathematics of love