Is he married or seeing someone else? While every married man is extremely careful about leaving a trail of bread crumbs for you, there are always a few subtle signs that can give even the best of cheaters away. So is he dating someone else while pursuing you at the same time? Follow the signs. [Read: How to have the perfect start to a new relationship] Think of it from his perspective, he knows any woman he dates will start to doubt him soon enough, so it’s always better to have sex as soon as possible. Even if he thinks he’s on the verge of getting caught, he’s seen you all over and done the deed with you. He can quickly move on a happy man.
There is this girl I have known for 8 years and pretty much always had feelings for her and never acted on them and then she disappeared for a bit then I started dating my ex.
Well I heard back from her during the breakup and she really helped me out and eventually the feelings came back. The problem was she was not in the country. I accidentally revealed my feelings to her 2 years ago and she told me she does not want long distance and we would discuss it when she got back. She finally got back a month ago and we could never make solid plans. On New Years she met a guy and had an instant connection and 2 days ago despite not knowing him well and knowing my feelings and hasn't even seen me yet she decided to date him solely because of this instant connection.
There is also more to this story as well. Afew weeks ago she admitted she has been really depressed since she came back and her friends got her into drinking again and she has been drinking a lot due to be depressed.
She also admitted while looking for a job she was so stressed she could not sleep. Which makes me worried she is not thinking straight. She also puts way too much stock in instant connections.
She is an it religious and believe they are signs from God. When in reality it was probably some dude who is good at smooth talking. The other problem is I know who this guy is and he is an alcoholic, drug using jerk but since she is in the honeymoon stage right now she does not know this. I also know they have very different views on topics such as sex. She is no sex till marriage and he is he wants some as soon possible. She also hid him from me till she decided to date him.
I took it poorly, and got emotional cause she picked s guy she barely knew over the guy who has been with her through thick and thin. We are not talking right now. I ended the conversation when I was getting overly emotional with saying I can’t handle this I have to go goodbye and she was like sigh I don’t know what to say bye my name. I message her a day later saying I was calmer but still not fully ready to talk but if she wanted any explaination what was going through my head to message me otherwise I won’t bug her.
She never replied so I think she is upset with me. Like while I don’t think it will work out between with their opposing viewpoints(especially on sex) I do realize it still could. It still really hurts. I am not sure how I should handle this. I know right now they are still in the honeymoon phase but I am hoping it does not last too long, I am truthfully worried she only mainly did this due to her current depression and that instant connection thing.
I do think walking away and not talking is good to get my head straight for now. You're in denial. That means you are refusing to see the facts becasue you know what they mean and you o not want to believe them, you do not want then to be true. First, you're known her 8 years. In all that time you never stepped up to the plate and told her what you feel.
You once "accidentally ". mentioned it and she told you she wasn't interested in long distance. She was telling you she wasn't interested in you but you wanted to believe it was the distance. When she finally DID arrive in country, (for a short distance relationship) you were unable to make any solid plans with her. If she was interested, she would have made time. She met and went home with a guy she barely knew due to instant connection. There you go. She can feel and she will react WHEN it's there.
It's not there with you. Now you're her father, claiming he's bad for her, a drunk, a druggie, all in all a horrible guy EXCEPT he has her attention. You're grasping at straws, hoping they're as incompatible as you want them to be but the news flash here is.... she's not dating this guy for his long term marriage and high earnings potential.
She's just having a fling. She's not involved with some guy who's bad for her... who she needs rescuing from..... she knows he's bad for her (relationship / long term wise) that's one big reason she's attracted to him... Only you are thinking this is a relationship she's trying to form with him. She met him on NYE, for Christ's sake, it's fling.
Bottom line.... you act like her brother, not her lover. Why are you surprised that you're being treated as a friend when friendship is what you use to keep this one sided connection going? When you didn't declare her yours 8 years ago, you set yourself up to be her friend.
She does not see you as a long term guy. She's not sexually interested. you made yourself her bestie and this is how besties get treated. What to do? Move on and find someone who cares about you. You've wasted too much time trying to win this woman over with your friendship and now you're wondering why she treats you like a friend. Let her go. Find someone who cares for you. : Actually she is treating it seriously and not a fling. Like I said she takes instant connections way too seriously.
She is a bit religious and she straight up told she thought it was a sign. She is also a no sex till marriage kind of girl so she was not at his place sleeping with him. They have been mainly just hanging out at the bar. find your center and gain control over your self. I don't believe anyone man or woman has very much patience with emotional overload.
this woman sounds like she could be trouble brewing for you. Its up to you if the trouble is worth it. Personally i say walk away save your self the heartache. It never ends well to involve your self in other peoples relationships.
she could end up hating you if you delve into her business. IF you are to do anything i would say drop her a message saying something quick and simple. (example: I don't understand why you are with this guy personally I get i have no right to question it either but I just want you to know i truely care for you I'm around if you need me other wise i have to move on.) the reason i tell you let her know your moving on is because who likes desperation no one i know.
desperation makes you seem easily manipulated, insecure, just a overall unattractive quality that will drive just about any good woman away. If she is making bad decisions then they are hers to make you cant really stop her without making things worse.
Give her some space to come to you if things get hairy. if your sleeping on her porch trying to protect her from the boogeyman you might just freak her out and forever ruin any chance you ever had with her. short and sweet....gain composure over your self and hold it when things get hard, very rarely does a guy actually get seen as the white knight he is trying to be, give her some space or get sucked into more trouble than you could probably handle.
good luck. : Trust me when I say I do think she is worth it but I could be saying that to myself and I'm actually a glutton for punishment and not realize it. Yeah I was not planning to try breaking them up. Cause I get trying to break them up makes me look bad and well I don't think she will believe me right now anyway with the honeymoon phase going on.
I do have some horrible stories of him acting like a massive jerk but I promised the person whose stories were about not to involve them and I agreed. I truthfully don't blame the person for not wanting to be involved.Sigh wish there was a way to help her realize that but yeah right now I feel there isn't. I think I need the space like you suggested cause I am really not handling this well.
It is affecting me physically. Can't eat, can barely sleep, puking, etc are being caused by this. Oh nothing like unrequited love............ You are her friend for 8 years really not even friends on your side because you have feelings for her. She has you in FRIENDZONE and that is all you are ever going to be to her is a friend. You need to move on and find someone who is into you................
: It doesn't change anything. She's got a drinking problem and untreated mental health issues. Attaching yourself to her will only make your own issues worse. Think about it, you're depressed. Do you really need the knowledge that your GF is an alcoholic added to the list of things that can bring you down or cause you to worry?
You can't save her and like someone drowning she'll drag you down with her. You need to separate your compassion/empathy from realistic outcomes. Being with her (if she is even interested in that) isn't going to make you happy in the long run. The idealized notion of her that you have won't last in the harsh light of the real world. : Dude I am not on meds for my issues if that is what you mean by untreated. So I fail to see how that is a problem. I stopped the meds as I found they made my problems worse and have been dealing with day by day.
She was doing great till she moved back. I think the stress of that and looking for a job got to her. I think she will get better but she needs to be free of some bad influences (some of her friends were who got her into drinking and were buying her drinks. Probably more then she needed). And hell I grew up with a sister with bipolar I know how mental illness is and how to handle it. : Dude I take mental health issues seriously. Like I said grew up with a sister with bipolar and I know how bad it can affect someone.
Trust me when I say what she is going through is nothing compared to what my sister was like 10 years ago.
I get she has mental health issues and I have known for years. So do I before this stuff happened we were helping each other out with it when she she was in Texas. I get the stress of the move and and job search and having no way to contact people (like me) probably is what is causing this. I get massive anxiety attacks from the old job I just quit so I could focus on school.
Been there done that and I can tell you that my feeling is that it will not proceed any further then friends, if even that is salvage.
Can't wish upon rainbows, man.. If she wanted it to happen, it would be happening. Her excuse was just that, a way to let you down easy, it was not (as the movie quote goes) code for, "try harder". Flip it and think about how you would let down a women friend that you had no interest in. Hurts, but you have to accept that, go through whatever you have to, and move on.
There will be other loves in your life. : I was making a point as to how people let others down, not the exact wording. Regardless of how you do it, that is how she did it, that is how a great many women do it. You need to stop searching for excuses and look at the reality here. You also need to learn from this, and next time you have feelings for a woman, act on them when you have them. : Actually she was for a time previously of around a year and when disappeared for a bit it was nearly 2 years.
She disappeared due to a massive depression and did not want anyone to see her, We reconnected back she was on this current Texas trip that lasted longer then planned. Every time she was supposed to come back a delay would happen. The other 2 years at first were were working the same job and then she quit and we would occasionally hang out but we could never really get a chance to hang out too much as I was working nights but we would talk all the time. She disappeared right when I was about to ask her out at that time.
During that entire time I was not pinning for her. The feelings came back like 6 months after we reconnected. The best way to get out of the friendzone is to never put yourself in the friendzone to begin with. You are more than a day late, and more than a dollar short. Live and learn - next time you meet a woman of potential romantic interest - don't befriend her - FLIRT with her Maybe she wont feel it - but it sure better than wasting 8 years of your life pining for someone you had mislead about your intentions because you were too gutless to make a move.
Man, I am really feeling for you right now. It seems so unfair doesn't it? That your crush could so easily overlook you - and for a jerk no less…. Does this story sound familiar to anyone else besides me? You are learning a hard lesson right now. You are suffering from an affliction known as “One-itis" right now. You have to stop acting like a wuss. Please don't misunderstand - I am a reformed wuss myself, and so many awesome men reading this will agree, that we are all reformed wusses.
Is this girl so beautiful and intelligent? Is she so kind and charming? The problem with women like this, is that they are a drug for our fractured male egos. Just like powerful narcotics, a woman like this can keep men like us yearning for so long - so long. So here is my advice: Some people say that Troy was invaded because of Helen.
Some people say that Leonardo painted the Mona Lisa because of a woman. Have you ever seen Shakespeare in Love.… Apparently the Bard wrote Romeo and Juliet because of a woman. You have a similar opportunity to use this woman to achieve greatness in your life. Just don’t focus on losing her, I'm not sure if we are allowed to swear on this website, but she sounds like a real BITCH..
Young Jedi, you must use this experience of getting played to do the necessary work on yourself. There are no shortcuts to mastery as any man worth his salt will tell you. Never let your world be ruled by a woman. Become the master of your destiny by listening to your own heart's purpose. So many Helen of Troy’s will be running after you then. : How are things with you now?
Are you still feeling the same way? My $0.02 is that even though she is your best friend, the fact that she "friend-zoned" you so easily is the classic "girls choose jerks over nice guys" stereotype. My experience from this is NOT that this good for the girl, she just feels more secure around a guy who's central priority is not her (in this case it sounds like drugs).
The hierarchy looks like this 3 - NICE GUYS (finish last).... 2 - JERKS (they get pretty girls who are trying to figure things out).... 1 INTEGRATED MEN (few and far between) Be integrated by consistently choosing to work on yourself and not putting a woman on a pedestal. Trust me on this brother. If you can release your fixation on her, you will feel GREAT and FREE as a bird.
a huge weight will be lifted. What's stopping you? Didn't read the whole story, but don't have to. The fact that you posted here means she doesn't treat you with equal thought. Advice: withdraw from her. when you see her, instead of being her friend, do something outrageously exciting.
Find what she likes in this other guy and do it better. (I know it's easier said than done) When you see her next, take her to do something scary, or exciting. often enough, women and men want to be with people who are interested in things themselves. Don't spend excess time with her. When you're with her step up the game for a few hours, and then leave semi-abruptly, like you have to do something important, instead of telling her how great of a time you had. She'll be telling her boyfriend about how much fun she had and he will start feeling insecure.
makes him mad, she sees this and after spending a few extra exciting times with you, she'll drop his ass for yours. It only takes one good "date" (hangout) If she says she has to stop talking to you bc he's a lil bitch - move on. . : Big problem is we aren't talking right now cause I am hurting really bad. I asked for some space. I am barely holding it together man and this only happened on the 28th.
Plus she never replied when I sent something the day after saying I am calmer now and I am sorry for being all emotional.
I am still not fully ready to talk but willing to discuss if you want to. She never replied. I really think she might be mad at me right now so I am leaving it for now. All her and new guy mostly do is hang out in bars right now. I don't think he will last past honeymoon period but I know I can't count on that. In fact she met him at a bar and had an instant connection and starting dating him afew weeks later. She is also is a 29 year old virgin who is waiting for marriage while he is a 25 year old guy who wants sex right away will damper things especially if all they do is hang out in bars.
I get the exciting thing but not sure how to do it. I am a skinny dude who loves friggin video games and studying to be a technologist. We aren't normally the exciting type unfortunately and we live in like one of the most boring provinces in Canada so I am not sure what to do for that but guess I could do some research on what we have here.
But what are some other ways I could be more exciting? Cause I am pretty sure I need to do something cooler then seeing Weird Al and Steel Panther like I did last year.
best married but dating someone else - Is He Married or Dating Someone Else?
Sometimes we fall in love fast. So fast in fact that we don’t really pay too much attention to anything other than the butterflies in our belly. Then one day we wake up and realize that we don’t know that much about the guy we’re now fancying ourselves in love with. So we start paying attention and realize some things don’t add up. It all seems a little bit weird. The question then is: is he married or dating someone else, or is he just acting weird for some other reason?
Or is our imagination a tad too overactive because we’ve been lied to in the past? Let’s have a look at some of the signs that might indicate he’s seeing someone else. Just beware that there are other reasons he could be acting weird too, so don’t jump to any conclusions! He Never Lets Go of His Phone Most people keep their cell phone nearby so that they can check messages and play around with it when needed.
Some even respectfully turn it over so that they won’t be disturbed when out with you. After all, a date shouldn’t be about who just liked a post on Facebook. However, there are some people who aren’t merely being polite by turning their screen to face the table; rather they’re trying to make sure you never see a message.
That’s when you have to ask yourself why he doesn’t want you to see the messages? Some people are private and they guard both their personal and business conversations.
Chances are you’ll figure out pretty quickly if a guy is always guarded about things, or if he’s just guarded when it comes to his phone because he fears you’ll find messages from another woman. There are, of course, other reasons why a man might guard his phone, be it that he doesn’t want you to find out he’s a criminal, he has a child, or his mother sends corny messages! He Isn’t into PDA PDA (public displays of affection) aren’t for everyone.
We know that. But if a guy starts looking around every time you try to kiss him, or take his hand, is it because he can’t stand anyone seeing him being affectionate, or is it because he doesn’t want to be discovered by someone who knows he’s with another woman too?
That’s the thing you have to work out. A big telltale would be if he whisks you away for a weekend getaway somewhere where he has no problems with PDA, only to back away every time you try to kiss him in public back home. Is He Constantly Looking Around? When you’re out together, is he constantly checking to see no one sees you together? Sure, some men love having a look around, but if he’s obsessively looking over his shoulder everywhere you go, you should start feeling concerned.
If nothing else he must suffer some fear or another if he can’t relax. Of course, men who are real pros at dating two women at the same time, would never let on they’re stressed. If he’s good at this game, when he meets someone he knows he’ll simply smile and introduce you to them.
Freaking out would only make him look suspicious. Being out for a coffee or for a meal with a friend, on the other hand, is quite normal. Does He Hang Up the Phone When You Walk in? Has it happened often when he’s on the phone that he hangs up straight away if you walk into the room? As if trying to quickly finish the conversation before he has to answer a question he doesn’t want you hearing the answer to?
Unless he’s talking to drug dealers, planning a surprise for you, or having an embarrassing conversation with his mother, there’s no reason why he’d hang up the phone every time you get close. Does He Prefer a Certain Area of Town? Is he always advocating for you guys to hang out in a certain area of the city? To the point where he gets uncomfortable if you manage to lure him to some other area?
We all have our favorite hang outs and our not-so-favorite parts of the city. However, that doesn’t make us paranoid when we venture into another area. If he gets really uncomfortable in some areas, ask yourself if that’s because he doesn’t want to be seen out with you in those areas, or if he’s scared his ex will start throwing tomato cans after him.
You never know… LOL! He Never Wants to Go Out at All Is it even worse than him only wanting to hang out in certain parts of town? Does he plain refuse going out even? Does he always have an excuse to stay in rather than go out? Of course some people are less fond of crowds than others, but even those who abhor crowds (possibly even to the point of claustrophobia) like going hiking, heading to the beach, or doing something else that means they aren’t always sitting on the couch.
It’s normal not to want to go out after a long day at work, but not every day is a work day. Not everyone is a social butterfly and some truly hate the bars and clubs, but most people want to go out sometimes. Even if it’s not because he could get caught dating two women at once, you should probably try to figure out what’s wrong if a guy you date ALWAYS wants to stay at home. He could suffer social phobias, or other it could be something else, but you’d do best to figure out what it is that’s bothering him.
After all, if you intend to keep dating him, you’ll want to know. He Doesn’t Introduce You to His Friends It’s one thing to wait for a while to introduce a date to your friends. After all, some people prefer to keep their friends out of the picture until they’re certain where something’s going.
If he still hasn’t introduced you to his friends after months of dating you, something is probably off though. Unless he’s scared his friend the Casanova is going to sweep you off your feet and ride away with you into the sunset, or all his friends are a bunch of jerks or criminals, it’s decidedly odd that he doesn’t introduce you.
Most of us want the people we love to meet one another and get along, so if your date doesn’t start introducing you to friends after a while, try to find out where the problem lies. He Always Has an Excuse for Not Meeting Your Friends Some guys are intimidated by social events, others by women.
That might make them a bit nervous when meeting your friends and possibly drag their heels doing it. If he always has an excuse not to meet your friends though, you need to figure out why. Is he scared rumor will get out he’s seeing someone else, or is he actually terrified of your friends? A healthy relationship is a lot about having a healthy social life – both one where you see your friends alone and one where you share friendships as a couple.
He Cancels a Lot Is the guy you’re dating constantly canceling on you? And not because he’s an entrepreneur working till ten o’clock every other night, but because…well, why?
Either he doesn’t care enough about seeing you as something else is always more important, or there’s another reason. Beware we’re talking about men in the US here. I live in South Africa. Everyone cancels all the time, because no one takes plans seriously. That’s a way of life, nothing to be suspicious about. However, the people who do wanna see you get around to seeing you, even if it’s not on the exact time and day you first thought they would.
He’s About as Spontaneous as Not at All You can’t just call him and ask if you can meet up, because, well, when you do he’s NEVER available.
That’s alright if he is the aforementioned busy entrepreneur, or similar, but if he’s never free unless you plan ahead it gets suspicious. Especially if he never randomly invites you along when you call to ask what he’s doing, or decides to change his plans to see you. Some guys are busy, truly, they are, you just need to figure out if he’s busy with work and friends, or if he’s with another woman. He Travels a Lot Many men travel a lot and that’s not a sign they’re unfaithful. Some men like having one woman in every harbor though and those are the ones you have to watch out for.
If he always seems to dodge your phone calls when he’s away, or never answers in the evenings, then you may have cause for alarm. Especially if he plain refuses to let you come with him on any of the trips. The Positive Signs Any one of the above signs can indicate you’re sharing your man with someone else, but it might also not. If he takes you along to family parties, introduces you to all his friends and have you meet his boss, it’s less likely that he’s also dating someone else.
That’s to say, unless she’s the one who’s having to be invisible. Men sometimes want to hide things, like social phobias, or having a kid from a previous relationship, which has nothing to do with dating other women. If you think your guy is hiding something you need to talk about it though. You care for the man. You want to build a relationship filled with trust. You want him to be comfortable sharing who he truly is with you. You want him to let you love him for who he is.
And to do so you have to have conversations where you are both honest, but also loving and understanding. If he’s hiding something, chances are he fears being rejected for it. It’s also important to remember that relationships, at least in America, aren’t really exclusive until after you’ve had “the talk.” It’s no secret most people think they can date as many people as they wish before you actually sit down and decide to be a couple.
Some people wanna have that talk pretty early on. Others think it’s best to wait five months. You have to be the judge of when you want to have it.
I’ve been married for almost 15 years to my husband and I have two beautiful daughters who I love more than anything. I was never unfaithful to him all that time. We started having financial trouble about 7 years ago and it put a tremendous amount of strain and tension on us. I started feeling resentful, bored, unappreciated and just like a part of the furniture.
The spark was gone and I began to question why I even married my husband. One night about a year and a half ago, I was feeling particularly bad and felt as though I was in a rut going nowhere fast. I was up late playing around on my phone when I came across an add for a dating website for married people.
I had never heard of anything like that before and was in disbelief that a site like that existed. No one was up and I was alone and curious. So I clicked on the link. At first it was out of sheer curiosity, I saw pictures and profiles of men and women who seemed to be in similar situations as me. On a whim I decided to make a profile just to see if men still found me attractive and that I was still appealing to the opposite sex. I uploaded some pretty pictures and gave a brief description of myself and current situation.
I didn’t expect the responses I received. So many men replied and said I was beautiful and super attractive. Many wanted to chat further and get to know me. I was scared but intrigued at the same time. This was the most exciting thing to happen to me in years. I felt like a women again and realized I still had what it takes to be appealing. I started to log in every night to see my messages. Each one gave me a renewed boost of confidence that I was so desperately seeking.
Then one profile stood out and caught my eye. I saw his pictures, read his story and learned about the things he liked doing in his spare time. A lot of what he said connected for me. I was instantly attracted to his pictures. He was married for as long as I was , had two daughters, similar issues with his wife, and he lived right nearby. At that moment I decided to do something that I never in a million years thought I would do…I responded to his message.
My hands were shaking as I typed out the words. I felt like I was committing a crime. Yet something about him was pulling me to keep going. I hit send and about an hour later got a response from him. We chatted for hours. We decided to text each other privately off the site. Before I knew it we were talking everyday for two weeks!
We sent pictures back and forth of ourselves and our daughters. There was definitely a connection between us. He had been new to this as well and we both confided in each other how nervous we were. After another week of talking we decided to actually meet face to face to see if the spark was there in person. I was terrified! Was I actually doing this? Meeting another man? I was scared but something pulled me to him once again.
We decided to meet in a public place since it was our first time meeting someone from online. We met at the mall in the shoe dept. of Nordstroms.
We would “run into” each other as if we were both shopping and see if we had a connection like we did on the phone. As I walked to the department , I saw him from a distance. He looked even more attractive in person! I started to feel butterflies in my stomach as I walked up to him. I felt like a teenage girl seeing her crush. I tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around and gave me the warmest most amazing smile I’d ever seen.
We looked at each other for a few seconds and started to talk as though we’d know each other for years. We didn’t stay long because both of us had daughters shopping in the mall that we had to meet up with.
Before he left he asked to see me again. I felt such a rush in my stomach when he said that and before I could even think I heard myself saying “of course definitely”. We agreed to meet for coffee at the local Barnes and Noble the next morning. We left and about 30 seconds later he sent a text saying “you are amazingly beautiful I can’t wait to see you tomorrow” I blushed harder than I ever had since high school.
I thought of him the rest of the day. When the next morning came we both were there waiting eagerly. It was a great meeting. We talked for about 2 hours, went for a walk and really found out so much about each other and how similar our life situation was.
He walked me back to my car and we hugged. I felt so much at the same time. I was scared, excited, turned on and guilty. Then it happened…we kissed. Right in the parking lot in front of my car. It was almost like getting a jolt of electricity! I was shaking inside. We looked into each other’s eyes and we were hooked. We kissed again this time even longer and more intimately. His hands touched my face and I ran my fingers through his hair. It was the best kiss I’d ever had in my life.
I felt at that moment that I just met the love of my life. Despite how wrong it was for both of us to be there we felt so right together. To sum this story up, we wound up seeing each other almost everyday for the rest of that week. We were like high schoolers meeting each other in anyplace we could even if for 10 minutes to steal a kiss, hug and just be in each other’s company. We slept together for the first time about a month later at his house.
It was amazing. I never had anything like that with anyone else including my husband in all my years of marriage. I had fallen hard. That was over a year and a half ago. We are still together. We have shared so much together and I can’t imagine my life without him. We are both still married to our spouses. It’s very complicated for both of us to consider leaving, too many people’s feelings would be destroyed yet we have a love between us that is so good that somehow we make it work.
I love him more than I’ve ever loved any man in my entire life. I love him so much it hurts. I love my kids and my husband is a great father but he could never give me what he does. My lover has my heart in no way anyone else could.
I needed to be able to say this somewhere because I couldn’t keep it in. It’s wrong and I know I will get a lot of hate from people who read this but I don’t care. I love him with every fiber of my being and needed someone like him.
I don’t know what the future holds and sometimes that thought keeps me up nights. It’s scary and uncertain but there’s no way I would ever dream of giving him up. Somehow , some way I want him here forever. Please try not to judge.
It’s love and nothing more and no matter how it finds us I believe we all deserve to have it. A cheater will cheat on you…eventually. The intrigue will get old with the same person. If they’re willing to cheat WITH YOU, they’ll be willing to cheat ON YOU. I know what you’re thinking, he wouldn’t, but you just never know. What happens when some hot young thing catches his eye. You won’t be young forever and men have a larger dating pool when they age than women.
Marriage is supposed to be forever, your spouse will be there for you as you get old and gray. A fling can’t withstand the process of time and age. It’s true honey… work on your marriage, family is everything. I don’t mean to judge or anything. But I’m sorry to say you’re cheater totally housewrecker and a f***ing b***h.
Women like you make other men hard to believe in their faithful wife. Women like you make other men’s life hard even to think to get married. What kind of mother are you seriously you should really think and calm your mind down and ask yourself. The think you’re calling so called LOVEal actually it’s nothing but proving that you’re totally a coward woman who can’t face her responsibilities and you yourself wanted to run away from this things just to fulfill your desire. Now after few years with this another cheater your dating he will put some responsibilities or he will start to face some problems then again you will look for another guy because that’s how it works.
You should never run away from your responsibilities. Think about your daughters what will they learn if their mother is a HomeWrecker. What will be their future. Imagine the man who is trusting you with all his heart for 15yrs+ when he will find out about this how could he ever believe in women again. You should think about that man too whom you’re dating or loving. That man is a father and have 2 daughters seriously what kind of a father can actually cheat when he himself has 2daughters.
If he is a good man in the 1st place he would always love his daughter by loving means today they’re daughter in future they will mother or wife of someone, if he really is a good father he’d had thought about what would his daughters feel when they find out that their husbands are cheaters and cheating on them.
Moral: Tit for tat. So back to square one right. But you’re a b***h. I was in a very similar situation. Been married 20yrs but I had a 6 yr affair with a married man who I thought cared about me too.
At our 1.5 yr mark I like you thought I was in love with him. We were never going to leave our spouses for each other either & we knew it but we couldn’t get enough of each other. Fast forward to now. I now see how wrong it was & wish it never happened. My heart still breaks because I still care deeply for him even though I wish I didn’t. I look at my family & see how I could’ve lost them even though nobody ever found out about the affair.
I want you to do something. Please look 4 yrs down the road. Can you still see yourself content with stealing 10 minutes at a time with him? Is one hour enough?
How long can you keep it up? I’m not judging at all. Like I said I’ve been where you are. If either of you have no intention of leaving your spouses how do you envision a future together? I wish you well sweetheart & I hope you’re able to avoid the heartache I’m STILL going through. Not sure this will matter to you, but I am married and my wife was you 2 years ago. She met a man and fell in love with him. It was the most devastating thing that has ever happened to me and it changed me and her forever.
I found out about the affair, I then found out she was pregnant! I didn’t think I could really handle anymore. She moved out and she tried to make a life with him. The thing is real life is so much different than an affair and it didn’t take her very long to realize she made a lustful mistake. We are still married and our life can be a mess but I keep trying because I took my marriage vows to heart. I have 4 children with her and the fifth child is just like the rest of my kids now I love him to death.
It’s not easy and if you could ask my wife she would be the first one to tell you how badly she wishes she could do things differently. I am sorry your marriage is not what you want out of it, I would recommend counseling for the both of you for your benefit as well as your children.
They will find out and it’s not the example you want for them. It’s not an easy thing I can remember it got so bad before it started to get better. Wish you luck I’m not some kind of bible thumper but I think I can understand a lot of the thinking that went into writing it .
Cheating, is a series of little betrayals . We you lie to get some time to be alone , you betray your hubby and kids .
When you buy some sexy thing to wear with your ” undercover” , your betraying ” your family. Everything you do with him is a betrayal, every kiss , every “act” hell every breath in bed with him a lie and betrayal . Give yourself and family the respect they deserve and walk away from this . Good luck. Cheating is alway a thriller… When you move in with this new guy, you will discover that responsilities and commitment will almost create the same circle that got you here in the first place.
Life is never a fairytale! You are a cheat! Call it what it is. You made a vow, honour it! or Face the truth and do the needful. My thoughts on Married but… I can see that you are torn between duty and true love, that’s a toughy.
The fact that you have a conscious is awesome. That being said there is so much that you didn’t make clear. Are your children still quite young? Has your spouse cheated on you? Have the two of you been spending enough “quality time” (you’ve gotta have that) together away from the kiddies so that you remember why you fell in love in the first place?
If you don’t, fantasizing about others is only human. You have 15 years invested in this relationship. ONLY you can decide if this other person is the real deal for you.
I suggest that you search your heart and make a move that in the long run will be best for everyone involved. You can have the love you need so much, she can move on and find love… hopefully everyone involved are mature and can create a plan where the children will be affected as little as possible. Godspeed and good luck…….
Being Married But in Love with Someone Else