Here’s some of the most important dating advice you’ll ever get, so ladies, take note Everything is going very well except you notice that he is going to put the bill on his company credit card. And this is fine except it’s not because technically, it’s stealing. If you could take a crystal ball and look further down the line you’d see Brad being arrested for embezzlement from his company When it comes to dating and relationships there is no better time to let your inner voice be your guide. Trust your gut, it will never steer you wrong. 3. Confidence begins with you.
Marriage. You go into it with hearts aflame. When you're walking down the aisle, eyes damp with joy, you just know that nothing will ever go wrong, that you'll still be soulmates 50 years from now. In many cases, that's the reality — , some couples are still going strong.
But that's not to say that their decades together were blissful or stress-free. Marriage isn't always smooth sailing. Life happens. Problems interfere. There are differences of opinion. So how do spouses in long-term marriages get through all that and ? We asked our readers to share the best marriage advice they ever received. Here's some of their wisdom. The Marriage Unit Is Not Two Halves Debigus said: "The best advice was that I should love my husband but not wrap myself up in him, that I should always remember that I was a person before he came along and I should do my damnedest to stay a person while I was married to him.
The second best advice was to never completely tie your finances to your husband's — always have something of your own." About Those In-Laws GirlyGirl220 had this advice: "Live in a different town from your families when you get married if possible. My hubby is in the Air Force and, lucky for both of us, we moved across the country! We both grew up in negative environments and the space is a blessing!
Now we appreciate talking to our families, but they're far enough away that they can't interfere and smother us with negativity. On another note, I believe the standard 'don't go to bed angry' is right as rain as well!" Is It a Date or Is It Forever? Shopper113's shared this advice from Dad: "From the time we were little kids, my dad told us, 'Never date anyone you wouldn't marry.' When we were kids, this made zero sense, but as I got older, it became clear that a lot of people marry people they don't much like much or that they don't fit with very well.
The selection process of who to marry is complex, but it makes a huge difference." The Lord's Prayer Michele takes a more theological approach: "Get on your knees together every night and say the Lord's Prayer, even if you don't go to sleep afterward because you may have something else to do. This assures that most nights you'll spend at least some time together. If you're apart, do it over the phone." It's in the Details Antoinette 24 thinks there are many components to a happy marriage: "Communication, respect for self and for each other, trust, faith and laughing together — but not at each other.
, remember your vows, and don’t ask about things you're not ready or willing to accept. Remember that we don’t always know we’re making a mistake unless we're told so speak up without being rude and hurtful." It's About Perspective Manuel D. advocates going to the source ... sort of: "When you're in trouble with your husband or spouse, . If you want real help, go directly to your spouse or to his mother, father or best friend. Tell them about your situation.
This can give you some very fast, sometimes unexpected and good solutions. You might get to understand your spouse's vision of the trouble, and this might change your perspective and perception of the problem." Go Back to the Beginning Deb V. speaks from her own experience: "After a disillusioned , my husband and I went to a therapist who told us that marriage should not be so much about looking at each other but looking in the same direction together.
I believe the message from this is to remember the positive things that brought you together, then to concentrate on positive goals that you want to achieve as a couple. All the cute, unique things that made your spouse wonderful in the beginning are going to be the same things that grate on your nerves later, so try to focus on the positive. If you look for negative qualities in someone, you're sure to find them!" Fair, But Not Always Equal Meme passed on a tip that a beloved relative once imparted: "The best marriage advice I received was from my grandmother.
Marriage is not always 50/50. Some days you'll wake up and may have to give 90 percent and your spouse will give 10 percent. Other days you may wake up and give 25 percent and your husband will have to put in the 75 percent.
I never thought of this before but it is so true." Maybe there's a nugget of wisdom in here that you can take to heart. If not, maybe listen to Dad, Grandma or your spouse's best friend. Marriage problems aren't insurmountable. Marriage is a work in progress.
best divorce dating advice ever received - What's the worst dating or relationship advice you've ever received? / myLot
The Best Dating Advice You've Never Heard By: Aesha Adams-Roberts "Think like a man, but act like a lady." "Be feminine." "Never call him first." "Write a thank you note." "Wait 3 days before calling him back." "Don’t talk about work, don’t suggest restaurants, wear a skirt." "Don't do anything. Let the man be the man." "Cook a meal for him to show him your feminine side." This is some of the best advice offered by my colleagues in the dating, relationship and matchmaking world.
Have you ever heard it? As I've been studying to become a certified matchmaker, I've been paying close attention to this advice and I have to admit, some of it rubs me the wrong way.
When modern women challenge this advice, many of these experts say, "That's just the way the world works. We're just observing society and telling you what works. And we can't change men. Men don't read self-help or dating books. They don't ask for coaching.
If you want to find love, you have to do it our way!" The bottom line, my colleagues, say, is that traditions are traditions because they work. But for some women, these "traditions" of letting the man be the man, don't work. Worse yet, they're the reason why amazing, beautiful, successful women are still single! For example, a recent study revealed that African American women who are dating online are the least likely to get contacted by men of any race.
The social scientists who conducted the study advise Black women to take the initiative and reach out to men to start the conversation.
According to my esteemed colleagues, this would break the rules and make black women unfeminine and undesirable! YIKES! With all of this conflicting dating advice, what's a smart woman to do? Here's the best dating advice you've never heard: SCREW THE RULES!!!! I broke all the rules when I was dating my husband.
I invited him on our first coffee date. I offered to pay for his drink. When he wouldn't let me, I suggested that I pay for it the next time (which led to a second coffee date). I didn't know how to cook, but my man could. We decided that he'd do most of the cooking after we got married (I eventually learned how to cook, but it wasn't because I wanted to be more feminine!) Don't get it twisted: My husband is a "manly man" who loves to provide for and protect his family.
But he's also a man who respects me and encourages me to be my best self. We make major decisions about our lives together. Our relationship doesn't require me to think like him or act like something I'm not. So the only dating rule you need to remember is—there are no rules! Principles? Yes. Core Values? Yes. But rules? HECK NO! When I work with clients through my coaching and matchmaking programs, we create a customized plan for you to find the love of your life.
This plan fits WHO you are and WHERE you are in your life. We start with your ideal vision for a relationship and design the best dating practices and relationship skills that will get you there. You can get started by booking a complimentary 20-minute Romance Plan session with me by clicking Space is limited, so don't delay! ********* Let's Talk: What's the best dating advice you've ever received (or given)? Join the conversation by clicking Aesha Adams Roberts, PhD teaches secrets to finding and keeping the love of your life.
She informs and inspires on a range of relatable topics such as dating, marriage, and family life. Aesha is a highly sought after speaker and is a happily married, homeschooling mom of 2 children.
"I'm getting married!! June 22nd 2013!! And I'm so happy!! Thanks for all you do!:)" - X. Taylor Before reading your book, I had been married two times for a total of almost 22 years and have been divorced for 7 years. I had not even considered dating again because I did not have a road map or a sister/mentor to guide me; I was unwilling to take a risk of repeating my past relationship and marriage failures.
I wept as I read your book as I realized exactly WHAT mistakes I made that led to failure in all my romantic relationships AND what I could actively do, not only to avoid those pitfalls, but move ahead confidently. Just ONE bit of wisdom from your book turned the lights on!
The pile of the nuggets of wisdom that filled the pages kept turning up the wattage! --Joy Randall "Aesha you are wise beyond your years. I hope women who want to learn about men and not just scratch the surface will grab a cup of coffee or tea and your book!" –Sheila Bayne "Thanks for all you are doing for single women like me. You are amazing!” –Mary Higgs "Aesha, I am so blessed by you I could just cry cause I am so touched!
Your life is so beautiful and you have NO Idea how God has used you in my life. Every-time you update your status I get it to come through to my phone. I never comment because I don't get the whole status and I want to make sure I've read the whole thing if I comment.
BUT you inspire me!" –Sharon Detwiler Stoltzfus "I'm learning more and more each day about me and about life and dating (which by the way, used to be taboo). Don't know how we ever got to know anyone without it. Anyway, keep spreading your wisdom, we need it! I thank God for you! Even at 40+ I'm learning something from you!
Thanks!" –Tonya Adair "Hip-Hop and Rap paint such a negative image about our men and women, I am proud to see the positive direction you and RJ have taken to let the younger generation know that there are beautiful relationships amongst African American men and women. Love Auntie Kay (Texas Style)" –A Kay Gossett Roberts "I also realized how privileged I am to know such a genuine woman; one whose mission is to empower men and women who have a desire to build solid, loving relationships that are built upon the foundation of Christ Jesus and His Word.
More than any time in history, with all the relationship “reality” dating shows, this society is crying out for truth about real love. This world is in desperate need of relationship repair! Coming from a broken home, I too had fears of marriage, but Aesha gave me a piece of advice that showed me that God wants to use me to break that curse in my family lineage." --Thea Woods Wow, it’s good to know that we can still remain positive and cherish what really matters no matter what life throws at us.
Aesha, you’re such an inspiration. --Ronke Alao Outstanding article today Aesha! You really help put in perspective the thing that causes us to hold back, fight, cheat, give up, etc. It may come in many forms, but it all boils down to resistance.
Now that we recognize that it’s resistance that we’re fighting against we must do something to not allow resistance to overcome us. You’ve helped us in the first step of the overcoming process by identifying the problem. Resistance!! Thank you so much for what you are doing. Your helping many lives with your blogs and posts.
--Roy Roberts Hi Aesha, I completely relate to this blog post. Lots of times you don’t even see the emotional abuse coming. It does start with something as simple as your outfit or your hair. This was me over 10 years ago. I walked away from a situation that would have destroyed my life. God is so good. He told me I wasn’t going to get married.
At first I was alarmed and thought something was going to happen. A few months later everything fell apart (PRAISE GOD!).
With one in four couples meeting online, the dating landscape has opened singles up to more prospects than ever. On the flip side, it also opens the door for more posers, predators, and losers. Have no fear, we are here to give you fool proof tips that will have you dating with confidence! Here’s some of the most important dating advice you’ll ever get, so ladies, take note: 1.
If you find yourself dating someone lacking in character, run! Let’s say you meet a guy who’s tall dark and handsome. Not only is he tall dark and handsome, he has a great job, he also owns his own home. He’s perfect on paper and in person. Score! So you’ve been dating this guy for a few weeks, we’ll call him Brad. Brad takes you out on a date to end all other dates. One night Brad decides to wine and dine you at this exclusive five-star restaurant overlooking the ocean. Everything is going very well except you notice that he is going to put the bill on his company credit card.
And this is fine except it’s not because technically, it’s stealing. If you could take a crystal ball and look further down the line you’d see Brad being arrested for embezzlement from his company. The company credit card was just the tip of the iceberg. It was a red flag. A small red flag. But it was enough to expose Brad’s character. If you ever find yourself dating someone wanting in character you are in grave danger.
Do not walk, run for the door! We often ignore the little red flags that tell us so much about a person’s true character. If we make a habit out of acknowledging these tiny warning signs, it could save us from many pitfalls of dating, as well as a ton of heartache. Our character is rooted in our values and our values dictate our behavior. Our character is run by what governs us spiritually. So if you ever find yourself dating someone wanting in character, take heed, and get out of the relationship before it’s too late.
2. Honor your inner voice That funny feeling you get when you met your latest online match for coffee. The quiet impression about a guy that lingers deep in your subconscious.
The tiny voice telling you not to pursue a relationship. Make a habit out of following your instincts. Early in my career while working for a very popular entertainment network, I was working in production with a guy that heavily pursued a relationship with me. I couldn’t tell you why but my instincts said, “don’t go out with this guy.” He was tall dark and handsome.
He was nice. There was no real reason for me not to go out with him, except I had this feeling. Fast forward years later, he’s serving time in prison for stabbing his girlfriend. This “nice” guy had a penchant for violence. There is no way that I could have picked up on what my instinct was shouting to my subconscious. Your intuition could save your life. When it comes to dating and relationships there is no better time to let your inner voice be your guide.
Trust your gut, it will never steer you wrong. 3. Confidence begins with you Whether you’re having a bad hair day, are on the wrong side of your weight goal, or having an acne break out, you can still shine.
True confidence comes from within, and once we realize that, we can unleash our unstoppable when it comes to dating and relationships. When we build our self-assuredness on qualities that are steadfast, like courage, the strength of character, and accomplishment, our value is rooted deep within us, and it is immovable regardless of the type of hair day we’re having, or how many likes our picture got on social media.
And a woman that’s confident on the dating scene is fearless and unstoppable! Nadiyah is the author of The Smart Woman’s Guide To Dating And Relationships. Nadiyah is a relationship expert, motivational speaker, author and tv host. Nadiyah believes that relationships are the foundation of strong families and communities, and it is essential to learn to navigate those relationships with principles rooted in the word of God.
Nadiyah maintains a Master’s degree in Strategic Communications, a minor in Sociology, a Bachelor’s in English, and attended Pepperdine University and the University of California Riverside. These two degrees, her faith, life experience, and nearly a decade of marriage, have provided her with a strong foundation and practical insight in interpersonal communications and relationships.
Further professional training through the American Psychotherapy Association as a board Certified Relationship Specialist® has allowed Nadiyah to bring a multidimensional approach to her work. More by Nadiyah Herron
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