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It’s easy to think of pick up lines as being a thing of the past. The term usually brings to mind the corny, eye-roll inducing one liners that made the rounds through crowded bars and clubs several decades ago, such as “If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d put U and I together!” or “I’ve lost my phone number, can I have yours?” RELATED: What’s more, the term “pickup” has taken on a more dubious connotation in light of the emergence of the self-described “pickup artist” community, which went mainstream in 2005 when Neil Strauss wrote The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists.
The community consists of men who aim to seduce women through a variety of techniques they believe to be based on psychology and evolutionary science, but which have also been criticized as sexist, mean-spirited and harmful, such as the pivotal idea that -- that is, issuing a backhanded compliment that’s meant to take her self-esteem down a few notches -- is a sound method for increasing your odds of hooking up.
In short, the pickup line has a pretty sleazy reputation. However, there’s nothing inherently wrong with pickup lines, and it’s possible to make them both decent and effective.
These days, pickup lines are increasingly likely to be sent in written form through dating apps than shouted over noisy bars, and that’s made the quality and originality of the line even more important.
Corny, lecherous or just plain bad pickup lines delivered through are at risk of being ignored -- or, worse, screenshotted and ruthlessly mocked on social media -- so they require a bit more thought than their verbal, IRL counterparts. Feeling the pressure yet!? Well, don’t worry, because we’re here to help. To assist you in developing your own smooth lines, AskMen spoke to ten women and asked them to single out the best pickup line they’ve heard in their own lives.
They all involved slightly different approaches, and some were delivered IRL while others took the form of dating app messages, but each of them shares one thing in common: every single one of them worked on the women who heard them. Read on to learn about the pickup lines that worked magic in real life:
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Next time you’re chatting up a woman, open with humor. It’ll go over better than you may think. Turns out men have a hard time knowing how women respond to different , according to a recent study from the University of Edinburgh.
In particular, the study said men can’t guess how well humor and sexual innuendo will go over with women. Related: Humor works. We’re not talking Carrot Top prop-comedy. Think dry wit, like Noel Coward. And if you have to look him up, that’s great —you’ll have something to talk about with her. “The best pickup lines are the ones that are just so stupid you have to laugh, and that laughing will hopefully turn into an actual conversation,” says Raechelle, 22, of Atlanta.
Sexual talk, on the other hand, doesn't work —though many men continue to think so. Here’s a short summary, through the prism of Lisa Daily, a dating expert and author of Stop Getting Dumped! Being funny “gives” women something (a laugh), while sexual innuendo implies you want to “get” something from women (sex). Here’s how the study worked: Men and women were shown 40 situations in which a man tried to start a conversation with a woman. The men and women rated each situation on how likely they thought the woman would be to continue the interaction.
The lines that the men tried fell into four categories: sexual, humorous, complimentary, or something that indicated he was a “good mate” —such as discussing a painting at an art gallery or asking a female jogger who tripped if she was okay. Turns out that —surprise, surprise —men and women rated the scenarios differently. Related: Men overestimated how successful sexually explicit lines such as the candid, “Look, we get on pretty well, and I was just wondering if you want to have sex with me tonight?” would go over.
And men underestimated how positively women would react to comments that displayed positive traits like kindness, wealth, and honesty. Women also gave higher ratings to humorous approaches (“Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too. . . ”) than men thought they would. What Doesn’t Work Most sexual pickup lines don’t work because they indicate you only want one thing—and that’s not what women are looking for, says Susan Rabin, director of schoolofflirting.com and author of 101 Ways to Flirt.
“Women don’t like to be sex objects,” she says. “Men are very visual, and they see sex when they see a woman. It may be on your mind, but keep it off your mouth.” Being overly confident that a woman wants to sleep with you is a turn-off, says Daily. With most women, sexually explicit pickup lines have the opposite effect of what you’re hoping for—they repel women. Tone down the sex talk and you’re likely to get more action. “Women also tend to think that men who use these types of pickup lines have no depth.
They’re just a penis looking for a place to land,” she says. Related: What Might Work Sometimes a compliment is the best way to approach a woman. But not something cheesy, such as “Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I’m lost at sea.” Be sincere and specific, and avoid commenting on physical attributes, Daily says. “Compliments work if they are honest, relatively unique to us, and not sexually charged. In other words, compliment her shoes, her wit, or her knowledge of kickboxing or the stock market.
Not her fantastic lips or her fabulous body. Save those for when you know us better—a lot better.” If you begin a conversation by complimenting a woman’s appearance, she may think you're only out for one thing, says Caroline Tiger, author of How to Behave: Dating and Sex. And don’t go overboard. “Calling us beautiful is not bad,” says Trina, 26, of Syracuse, New York. “Calling us the most beautiful girl you have ever seen is terrible.
We are not in denial. We check out other women. No matter how good a girl looks or thinks she looks, she knows that there are hotter, more beautiful chicks around. Don’t lie to us!” Related: What Usually Works Instead, be honest and be yourself. “Sincerity is what really gets a girl’s attention. Simple conversation is great,” says Sara, 23, of Chicago. Women in the study rated pickup lines in which the man revealed something about his character, personality, or interests higher than men thought they would.
Using this approach gives the woman an idea of how you’ll treat her if you start dating. “In relationships, all women want a guy who cares about their well-being,” Daily says. “If our first experience with him shows he is a nice, considerate guy, we don’t feel like we have to keep our guard up around him.
Which means it’s easier for a guy to get to know us and progress the relationship. “No woman ever wants to feel like she is simply a target for sex,” Daily adds. “Most women want to be with a nice guy —if you give us a glimpse of this in the beginning, you’ll have us hooked.
Related: “It’s far more intriguing to discover the sexy side of a nice guy than it is to learn that the all-about-sex guy has a nice side.” You can show off your “good mate” qualities by taking interest in whatever she’s doing. In the study, asking a women at a bookstore about the paperback she was looking at and talking to a woman at an art museum about the painting she was admiring were both scored favorably by women.
This doesn’t mean you have to start reading Shakespeare or studying Monet to attract a woman. In fact, namedropping in the wrong situation —such as quoting Byron in a bar —will most likely make you appear pompous instead of intellectual. (Quoting Noel Coward?
Okay, a little pretentious, but at least amusing.) However, you can use the “what are you reading?” strategy in places outside of the library.
Just ask her a question or make a comment about whatever she’s doing, whether it’s the lecture you're attending or what she’s drinking, Rabin says.
What Always Works Don’t underestimate the power of humor. Women in the study rated funny pickup lines more favorably than men did. Using the right kind of humor can be a great conversation starter.
“People want to be with somebody who makes them laugh,” Tiger says. “It’s easier for somebody to accept you or to continue the conversation when you initiate it with a laugh.” Rabin suggests saying something funny that's relevant to where you are and what you’re doing. But avoid sarcasm because it can put people off. A light joke also shows you put some thought into your approach.
Related: “One reason the ‘humorous’ pickup is successful is because you are giving us something —a laugh —rather than trying to get something from us —sex —in the first few minutes you meet us.
If you’re trying to make us laugh, you’re making an effort, which can be immensely appealing,” Daily says. She has one warning, though: “Don’t try this approach if you’re not funny. If you’re not getting real laughs, or if you find yourself saying ‘Get it?’ even once, it’s time to switch strategies. Remember: Funny is sexy. Not funny is annoying.” The Best Strategy: No Pickup Lines What other approaches do women prefer? “Conversation, conversation, conversation.
It actually makes us girls think you are interested, so get good at acting interested. We like to talk,” says Trina. “Let her hear you tell your friends you think she is hot.
I am telling you, this works like a charm. “Girls love to think that guys are talking about them. When they overhear you talking about them, it is a huge turn-on —just don’t make it too obvious.” Tiger also says approaching her friends first is a good idea. “You’ll be less nervous about starting that conversation and may be more natural. And talk like she’s a real person, not an object of your sex admiration.” Related: If you’re nervous or believe you’re a less-than-stellar conversationalist, recruit a friend to help start the discussion —and to make you look good, Tiger says.
Also watch her body language for clues to tell if she’s interested in your or if she wishes you’d go away. Eye contact and turning her body toward you are good signs. Appearing distracted or angling herself toward her group of friends?
Not so good. “Do a little long-distance flirting first, to see if she might be interested. If she smiles, holds eye contact for more than 3 seconds, flips her hair, or exposes her neck, she probably has at least some interest,” Daily says. “Then move about half the distance between you and see if the flirting continues. If she looks longer or smiles more, make the move to approach her. Pay attention to her body language.
If she’s shutting you down, you might want to move on.” “A modest smile and acknowledging tilt of the head works for me,” says Kathleen, 22, of Shillington, Pa. “If I reciprocate, a respectful approach and down-to-earth, fun conversation and flirting from there on out.” Related: Of course, you can never guess what approach each woman prefers, but a smile is always good.
“If you’re Brad Pitt, anything you say would work. But most average men have to be careful with what you say,” Rabin says. “A smile is always a great approach. It’s the universal flirting skill, and it diffuses negativity.”
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Do you view working out as important and strive to fit a sweat in at some point in your day or week? Well, researchers have proven that external motivators such as finding workout buddies and blasting good music could help you push harder in order to achieve your goals faster.
One element that can really help you lift those extra 10 lbs or run the extra mile are workout clothes you feel good in. So before your next gym session, make sure to deck yourself out in the hottest apparel. For Funky and Affordable There is nothing better than showing up to the gym looking and feeling your best. It may sound silly but feeling good can really motivate you to push yourself. But one struggle many gym rats face is that workout clothes tend to be expensive, and unlike a good pair of jeans, you need more than one pair.
If you’re looking to elevate your gym clothes wardrobe to wow your gym buddies on a budget, make a visit to your local Old Navy, Target, or Gap. And if you don’t have time, don’t fret, as all of the stores have fantastic online stores. Old Navy has its own line dedicated to workout clothes called Old Navy Active. Within the line, you can search by categories like “Activewear by Style,” “Activewear Tops,” and “Activewear Bottoms”.
It also has categories like “Jackets and Hoodies,” and “Sports Bras” for women. Old Navy Active has 2 types of clothes, one type for working out, and another for chilling out. Its workout and high-sweat clothes are made from compression fabric that’s meant to support your form throughout your workouts, and Go-Dry tech that wicks away sweat.
Its “chill-out” clothes are made from a breathable soft-cotton blend to keep you comfortable for hours on end. Old Navy’s workout leggings range from $15 to $30, it offers 20% off of your first order, and has frequent promotions. Target also offers clothes of comparable quality, look, and price to that of Old Navy.
Its two main activewear brands are C9 Champion and the newest, Joy Lab. C9 Champion offers quality running gear made out of reflective and breathable fabrics, while Joy Lab offers both workout clothes and comfortable hanging out clothes. Target has incredibly competitive pricing, an excellent return policy and customer support, and offers free 2-day shipping on eligible items with orders over $35. Both Old Navy and Target’s workout lines are not only good quality, but affordable.
If you’re looking for funky leggings, shorts, or tops, and don’t mind compromising on quality for the sake of price, you will find what you’re looking for at Forever 21 and Kohl's. Forever 21 is known for their trendy clothes, and they don’t fall short when it comes to their workout clothes.
Think of leggings with mesh, netting, and cutaways for girls, and funky tank tops and track pants for guys. Kohl’s also has a similar style, except their clothes generally appeal to a younger crowd. Both Forever 21 and Kohl’s offer clothes for extremely low prices of $15 for women’s shirts and $20 for men’s track pants. For Trendy and High-End If you’re a trendy shopper and like the style of Forever 21’s clothes but prefer to stick to higher end brands that will last, you won’t be let down by Nordstrom Rack.
It sells all of the best brands that Nordstrom does, just at half the price. Since Nordstrom Rack is a second market store, meaning it sells the clothes that don’t get sold at Nordstrom, it offers great discounts on all of its clothes. People that work out particularly like the line Zella, which sells clothes for men, women, and children. It markets its clothes as being top quality, and designed with ultimate comfort, innovation, and peak performance technology to enhance your workouts. Zella isn’t the cheapest, with its women’s leggings costing $50 on average and men’s pants costing around $80.
If price is not your concern, Lululemon is the place for you. It’s the brand that celebrities rely on, the one that your trainers probably wear, and the one you will not be able to live without once you experience the comfort. Lululemon is one of the most popular high-end athletic clothing brands around, offering everything from branded yoga mats and water bottles, to wind breakers and sports bras.
It has equally good looking pieces for men and women, and even hosts weekly yoga sessions in some of its physical locations. Lululemon is a brand that encompasses chic, sleek, and modern. You can expect to pay around $118 for a men’s windbreaker, and around $98 for women’s full length leggings.
For Quality and Practical Between the low-end funky brands, and the trendy high-end brands, are the brands that shine when it comes to quality and practicality. Think brands like Nike and Athleta, that unlike other workout apparel brands, started out as sports brands. So rather than selling dresses, shoes, and accessories, these brands have the sole focus of providing their customers with the best clothes for their workouts. This means they do the research to learn about what fabrics are best for wicking away sweat, which soles are best for frequent running, and which socks are sure to keep you blister-free, even after a marathon.
One really good place to find quality workout clothes is Outdoor Voices, whose tagline is “technical apparel for recreation.” The brand makes and sells activewear for doing daily things like walking your dog, going on a run, or squeezing in a yoga flow.
You can search for clothes by men or women, or activity such as spinning, hiking, or running. The brand was featured in Bazaar, Refinery29, and The New York Times, and offers free US shipping and returns. Sweat On Whether it’s funky and fun you’re into or classic and modern, you’re sure to bust your butt and crush your weight-loss goals wearing the hottest workout clothes out there! Top Trending Lists • Best Mortgage Lenders 2018 Having a house of your own doesn't have to stay a dream. These handpicked lenders can help you make it real with low rates and good service.
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