How is dating in China different from dating in Western countries? Why are Chinese relationships more serious off the bat? Read more in our article This is because in Chinese culture, men are expected to be the foundation of the family, meaning it is important that they have the resources for a family. Women look for men who have a house and car because it shows that the man is financially stable and ready for marriage Hopefully this has given you a better idea of the differences of dating a Chinese person versus an American person. Of course, the dating stereotypes mentioned are not strictly applied to every person within each culture, but are generalizations. However, right now China is already less conservative than it what it used to be hundreds of years ago.
The Chinese refer to their country as the Middle Kingdom, which indicates how central they have felt themselves to be throughout history. While there are cultural and linguistic variations in different regions, the culture is relatively uniform for such a large country. There are fifty-five minority groups in the more remote regions of the country, which have their own unique cultures, languages, and customs. China is divided into Inner China and Outer China, which have been very separate historically.
The Great Wall, which was built in the fifteenth century as a protection against military invasions, marks the division. The areas of the two regions are roughly equal, but 95 percent of the population lives in Inner China. Out of the total population of China, 92 percent are Han Chinese, while the remaining 8 percent are people of other nationalities. Many of the minority groups live in Outer China but the distribution has changed slightly over the years.
The government has supported the migration of Han Chinese to minority territories in an attempt to spread the population more evenly across the territory and to control the minority groups sometimes perceived as a threat to national stability.
China's official language is Mandarin Chinese. Modern spoken Chinese, called bai hua, replaced the classical language in the 1920s. The writing system has remained the same for thousands of years and is the same for all dialects.
Chinese is written in pictograms and ideographs that are symbols representing concepts rather than sounds. Some of the minority groups have their own languages. The main symbol of the nation is the dragon, a fantastical creature made up of seven animals. It is believed to have the power to change size at will and to bring the rain that farmers need. Another patriotic symbol is the Great Wall. The vast majority of Chinese people are of Han descent and identify with the dominant national culture.
They have a sense of history and tradition that dates back over one thousand years and includes numerous artistic, cultural, and scientific accomplishments. The cuisine in China can be broken down into four main geographic varieties. In Beijing and Shandong, there are specialties such as Beijing duck served with pancakes and plum sauce, sweet and sour carp, and bird's nest soup.
The cuisine in Shanghai uses liberal amounts of oil and is known for seafood and cold meat dishes. In the Sichuan and Hunan provinces, food is particularly spicy, with shrimp with salt and garlic, frogs' legs, and smoked duck among the popular dishes. The cuisine is the lightest in Canton and Chaozhou, where seafood, vegetables, roast pork and chicken, and steamed fish are served with fried rice. When the communists took control, they overturned the traditional hierarchy endorsed by Confucian philosophy, and professed ideals of a classless society.
However, the new system still has an elite and a lower class. Society is divided into two main segments - the ganbu, or political leaders, and the peasant masses. According to the Communist Party's philosophy, both classes share the same interests and goals and should function in unison for the common good. According to custom, marriages in China are arranged by the couple's parents. The system is less rigid than in the past but young people often use matchmakers.
People's approach to marriage is pragmatic and even those choosing their own spouses often take practical considerations into account as much as romantic ones. The legal age for marriage is twenty for women and twenty-two for men.
After marriage, a woman traditionally becomes part of her husband's family, with several generations often living together under one roof. As a communist state, China is officially atheist.
Out of the total population, 59 percent have no religious affiliation, 20 percent practice traditional religions, such as Taoism and Confucianism, 12 percent consider themselves atheists, 6 percent are Buddhist, 2 percent are Muslim and 1 percent are Christian.
The government censors the output of all artists. Chinese poetry is not just a linguistic feat but a visual one. Classical poems express balance through both rhyme and tone as well as through the physical layout of the characters on the page. Chinese painters are best known for their depictions of nature. Writing is considered the highest art form, while calligraphy is said to be the deepest expression of a person's character. China has also been known for sculpture and pottery for centuries.
Opera is a popular traditional art form and there is also a lively rock music scene. Chinese Culture: Selected full-text books and articles
best dating in chinese culture books - Dating in China And The Rise of "Naked Marriages"
Because of China’s rigorous , dating is rarely tolerated among high school students. They simply have too much work to do. That doesn’t mean that Chinese teens don’t have high school crushes or even relationships (mostly secret ones). But in general, Chinese students leave high school with a lot less romantic experience than their American counterparts. For a lot of Chinese people, serious dating starts after they’ve finished school.
More so than Westerners, many Chinese view dating as a pragmatic affair. It’s not always about finding love so much as it is about finding a potential marriage partner who fits with one’s own ideals.
For example, although many men get married without a house and a car, Chinese women will often say that they’re looking for these things because that’s the sort of person who probably has a stable career and will be able to provide for her and their future children in the long-term. It’s not always about love. In general, sex before marriage in China is less common and considered more serious than it is in many Western cultures.
Attitudes toward sex are changing, especially in more cosmopolitan cities like Beijing and Shanghai, but in general, many Chinese women see sex as a sign that a relationship is headed towards marriage. Additionally, many Chinese men say they would prefer to marry a woman who hasn’t had premarital sex. The actual experience of dating in China can also be somewhat different.
For example, you’ll often see Chinese couples wearing matching outfits, which is almost unheard of in the West. Many Chinese couples do not share the Western expectation that two people dating will maintain their own separate social lives and friend circles. Of course, these are all just generalizations, and they don’t apply to all Chinese people. More than tradition, society, or culture, dating in China is governed by what the specific individuals in the relationship think and feel, and it’s not too hard to find Chinese couples that don’t fit all or even any of the general observations above.
In China, Guangzhou, I have come to appreciate certain psychological barriers exist between Chinese society and foreigners. Over the half a decade I have lived in China, I now see fashion as one clear, oxymoronic identifier of Chinese delinquency towards Westerners. Liberal Fashion Closed Minds In the Starbucks queue in Gongyuanqian (公园前) to buy a coffee, I spied a few attractive Chinese girls.
Some girls were but they are still traditional to the core. One short, Chinese girl in the queue in particular looks nice with her white shoes, little blue shorts, carrying a big, red picnic basket bag, and wearing a tight, black top that accentuates her big boobs, and long, black hair. Her , but looking from a distance, I can tell from personal experience that she is going to be freaked out to be talking to a Westerner. I know Chinese girls in China to have liberal fashion but conversely to have closed minds.
If I were to approach her, she would not know how to respond, and everything else will happen after that that is predictable. The Friendship-First Approach Of Conservative China In China, friendships take months to develop, and those friendships with girls can lead to over time. This friendship-first approach is a conservative . Being approached directly by someone in public on the other hand is a foreign concept to most Chinese people who value the safety and trust developed in social circles.
Most Chinese people can’t make genuine friendships with foreigners because of their held conservative values. I like to make friends with Chinese people, but I often use my Western approach on them, because I get tired of following the conservative approach, only to be turned down 99% of the time by Chinese girls whose minds are closed completely to who you are and what you represent.
The Ninety-Nine Percent Factor I think I have come to this point in China where talking to Chinese people has become super predictable. 99% of the time I know where the conversation is going to go, because 99% of the time that is where the conversation has gone before, and you can predict that 99% of the time after, people in Chinese society are not going to change that quickly, because China is always the same.
China is a homogenous country. Chinese girls with the are like stray cats that come across a human being who wants to pet them and give them cat food. They watch you suspiciously, ready to instinctually flee at any moment, if you come too close. It takes weeks to win the trust of a stray cat. Assuming that people are always going to treat me the same way – as an exotic foreigner – then I have to switch things up. Superficial Chinese Manners I often wonder, “How do I approach these predictable, Chinese females?” Only yesterday I made friends with one of these wary Chinese girls, saying to her, “不怕外国人 ~ don’t be afraid of foreigners.” Then, the next day, she straight away.
I didn’t do anything other than to go up to her, ask her for directions, talk to her, and then tell her she is pretty.
I also made some very good Chinese friends using my Western approach, but those friends fall into the 1% of Chinese people who do not instinctively run away from foreigners. A Barometer For Racism In Australia, there is no place for racism. I am sure people can be racist in a country like China because they are surrounded by like-minded Chinese people. But you are not going to get away with that level of racism in an actual country which represents all races from every country getting along together as one, Australia.
Racism won’t fly. So, when Chinese people come to a country like Australia, the more racist those Chinese people are, the more isolated they will be, the more Chinese friends they will make overseas as a consequence of xenophobia, and the more Chinese-owned businesses they will work in.
Chinese who travel to Australia with deeply ingrained conservative values more often than not will be surrounded by like-minded Chinese people. That is actually a good ; when you come to a country like Australia, and you cocoon yourself with your own race and nationality, then the chances that you are a racist and hold these discriminatory views against the country you have adopted to stay in, is much higher.
Showing Respect To Your Host Country I personally am not going to come to China and be prejudiced against China, because I respect Chinese people. That is why I continue to make friends with them, do business with them, and stand side-by-side with them.
I came to China with the utmost respect for Chinese people, to learn about Chinese culture, about who they are, and to show Chinese people the utmost respect for the country that I have adopted as my own. I respect Chinese language. I respect Chinese traditions. I don’t necessarily agree with everything, but I don’t have to because I am not a Chinese person.
Integration When Abroad This is the level of integration, the level of acceptance that is lacking in Chinese people who go anywhere else in the Western world, or who conversely are approached by foreigners in their own country. Chinese overseas just bring their own values, their own superstitions, their own irrational beliefs, and they stay away from the greater society within that country, because they have this belief that the greater society is made up of bad people. This phenomenon does also happen with foreigners who come to China, and decide to steer away from Chinese people, whatever their motivations.
I do know friends who avoid eating Chinese food, or making Chinese friends, due to cultural differences. In either case, the lack of integration causes a bad impression in the host country. In the end, an individual person, regardless of their upbringing, has a personal choice to make.
I personally have come to appreciate the super predictable ingrained in a large swathe of Chinese society, which makes new friendships in China a one in one hundred game.
Make a small WeChat Pay (喜欢作者) contribution if you enjoy these articles. Thank you for your support! Author: The author of Diary Of A Mad Chaos from 1996 to 2018, The Lost Years book, Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘) book series, and Foreigner (华人) an exploration of race relations in Australia. Fluent in Chinese Mandarin, Macedonian, and English, the author currently resides in China, Guangzhou where he continues to make comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies.
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