A guy I work with had an awkward one. He's recently divorced and this was his first date since the split. After dinner they decided they were going to walk around the city Went on a blind date with a friend of a friend and the first thing out of her mouth was 'Well Sarah wasn't kidding when she said you weren't tall' (Spoiler alert: I am fairly short). 5 minutes in, told me she didn't really see it going anywhere, but proceeded to order a Grey Goose martini and a $30 appetizer for herself.
It doesn't matter how calm and suave a guy appears on the blind date. These thoughts go through every guy's head. He might be using advanced meditative techniques to push these thoughts out of his mind, or they could be piling up like a multi-track train wreck in his mind, causing him to sweat through two layers of clothing and stammer out, "So ...
do you like stuff?" Whether he's an ice-cold, secure master of conversation or a total weirdo, these thoughts have crossed his mind. Maybe they stayed there. 1. "What if I get murdered?" This is a legitimate concern for anyone.
What if you're not who you say you are? What if you're a murderer? What if you're two murderers? What if you take us home and then murder us while we're sleeping? We will never know for sure if you're cool or if this is just a complex murder plot until at least the fifth date.
2. "What if she is basically my evil twin?" Getting murdered might be better than sitting through three courses with someone you have nothing in common with. Awkward dates have nothing on the hell-date that is two people who hate each other and are kicking themselves for ordering potato skins and salad and a grilled chicken. God help you if the service is slow. 3.
"I hope I have an opportunity to do something really cool so I can impress her right away." Maybe a waiter will trip and fall, and I can perfectly catch the tray of drinks he drops without spilling anything. Maybe I'll punch a guy in the face? Maybe I'll save a baby from a well? Google Maps says there are no wells in this area, but a man can dream. 4. "What if I can't figure out who she is?" There is no easy way to go up to a stranger, ask them who they are, and then calmly tell them, "Oh, sorry.
I thought you were a different person, and I don't know what the person I'm looking for even looks like." Sure, if someone came up to you, you'd think nothing of it and assume they were meeting someone on a blind date. But when you're the one who has to ask them, it can give you crazy anxiety. 5. "What if she doesn't show up?" Getting something for free is cool unless it's the free drinks the bartender gave you because you hung out for two hours before admitting to yourself that you got stood up.
6. "What if I thought she didn't show up but I really can't figure out who she is?" This hasn't been a legitimate concern since 2002 when everyone started carrying cell phones, but the thought will still cross our mind in a moment of crisis.
7. "Is this shirt too douchey?" Guys don't have many options when going on a first date besides "button-down" unless we're going to a Monster Truck Rally. And even then, we'll probably wear a button-down shirt. 8. "What if she hates the restaurant choice?" This is one of those concerns that only matters to people choosing a restaurant on their first (or maybe second) date.
Have you ever gone to a restaurant that was so bad you hated the person that brought you there? Unless they took you to the Hooter's in the ninth circle of hell, the answer is probably no.
9. "Oh, man. Should I get kind of drunk?" This is the only true quandary when it comes to first dates. Do you have two drinks? Is one of you waiting for the other to order a third but you don't want to be the first? Do you say, "Screw it," and have six drinks and hopes she also likes to drink? Do you get blackout drunk and avoid the problem altogether by not even remembering it happened?
10. "What if my card gets declined?" Everyone does the same exact thing whenever a card gets declined. It doesn't matter how much money you have (or don't have): • You tell the waiter/cashier, "It was working today." • You ask them to try again. • When it still doesn't work, you flip the card over four or five times looking for imperfections. • Say, "I'm calling my bank when I get home," to no one in particular. 11. "I really hope she's not late." God forbid you have to look at a Friendly's menu by yourself for 10 minutes.
12. "OK, focus. You are fine." At a certain point, you just suck it up, calm your nerves, and leave for your date. You enter a zen-like state where sitting in your room freaking out about your upcoming date is way worse than any date ever possibly could be. 13. "OK, let's get there, like, five minutes early." This is great because you're still early, but you're not so early that you have to kill time if she's late.
You don't want to be that person sitting in his car in the parking lot because you got there an hour early. 14. "We've met. She seems fine. No murder vibes. This is going well." And of course, you had no trouble finding her — she looks like her picture except maybe without the filters and artistic blurring. 15. "What does she look like naked?" THIS IS A QUESTION FOR ANOTHER TIME, NOT WHEN SHE'S TELLING YOU WHAT SHE DOES FOR A LIVING. 16. "What kind of vibe am I giving off?" I feel like I'm doing OK, but what if she's perceiving things differently?
What if life is just a series of shared perceptions? What does that even mean? I just missed what she was talking about because my brain decided to go into "first year philosophy major" mode. 17. "Oh, no. Is that my friend at the other table?" If he comes over here, it's basically a pop-quiz of everything she told me so far. I need to at least remember her last name and her job. Hold on to those thoughts, just in case he decides to come over here.
18. "I think I'm going to go in for a goodnight kiss after this, but those jalapeño poppers were a terrible idea in hindsight." I thought ordering those would show her that I'm bold and daring, but now I just have horrible breath. Why was that my thought process? WHO WOULD EVEN JUDGE A PERSON'S CHARACTER BASED ON APPETIZER CHOICES?
19. "Screw it. We both had three beers." OK, that went well. She's into it. I killed it on this date. 20. "Don't text her right away. Don't text her right away. Don't text her right away." It's going to be super tempting to shoot a text out, but we have to play it cool for at least 24 hours.
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best dating a blind guy friend awkwardly - Awkward Blind Date
Yesterday my good friend was complaining about a string of lame blind dates she'd just been on (she is online dating). I could tell she was losing sight of the point (understandably), but in her frustration, she was blaming all the guys—and the universe. I told her that she plays a part in some of this, and that she could have better dates if she changed a few things on her end. Here's how to enjoy a blind date: 1. Throw out any and all expectations.
The fastest way to kill a blind date is to walk in expecting Bradley Cooper and then feel nothing but disappointment when it's someone other than Bradley Cooper (and I guarantee it will be). Even if you had an amazing, two-hour phone conversation and his online profile was custom written for you, do not expect Mr. Perfect. No one can live up to that.
To make sure you don't build up the date in your mind too much, stay busy beforehand. Also, I don't mean you should have low expectations ("He's going to suck")—just have no expectations. Quick! Think about something else. 2. Wear something you love. Sometimes I'm just happy to put on my fancy high heels. On my last blind date, I was excited to be dressed up, and I arrived in a good mood.
(It didn't hurt that three different guys checked me out before I'd even hailed a cab outside my building. I think we forget that dates are about feeling attractive, not just, "Will I be attracted?") 3. Open your mind. You can't know everything about a person up front, so don't be quick to judge. Remember: chemistry can grow; people will grow on you when you get to know them; and some people are nervous on dates.
As long as you're not a total misanthrope, you're capable of enjoying almost any human being—you just have to keep an open mind. Totally random caption alert: Check out this tree I found in Central Park on Sunday.
Dude! Usually I'm not a huge nature lover but hey, take the blinders off and look what you discover. 4. Don't complain. Stay positive and keep things light. If he complains, change the subject. 5. Watch the alcohol. The Millionaire Matchmaker's Patti Stanger says not to drink more than two cocktails because you need clarity.
I agree about the clarity; you don't want to sober up after a month and realize you're not attracted to the guy. However, two drinks isn't much, especially if it's a long date. Depending on your tolerance, who's driving, and whether or not you eat, I think it's okay to have three or four. 6. Leave your insecurities at home.
If I sense a guy is not interested in me, I don't focus on that fact (it won't help anybody). Just try to find out what does make him smile (Your jokes? Talking baseball?). (P.S. Why worry he'll be too good-looking and won't think you're cute? Super hot people never go on blind dates.) 7. Try something new or weird.
Last weekend, I tried frog legs on one date and kumquat grappa on another. When two people share a novel experience, it bonds them. 8. Find the funny. Laughter is the best medicine for a crappy date.
What's humorous about your surroundings? If the guy has the sense of humor of a wet mop, take notes and laugh later with your friends. 9. Learn more. If you don't care to learn anything about this guy, what can you learn from him? Can you get some investment advice? Industry gossip? Maybe he can fix the settings on your camera. 10. Get up and do something. If the guy is repulsive, uninteresting, and/or extremely unintelligent, try not to sit and stare.
You'll fixate on whatever it is that's bugging you. Get up and get him involved in an activity you enjoy no matter what—pick out songs on the jukebox, play pool, order ice cream, take a walk, or place bets on the teams playing on the bar's TV. If you're at dinner, well…chew fast. If you forget everything else, just remember to have zero expectations and an open mind. I always have a good time when I'm on a date with no expectations. (No Expectations in one good-looking guy, haha!) A bottle of wine never hurts, either.
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Curious how you fine folk view blind dates and being set up by a friend. I am not personally against the concept at all, I know many successes from it.
And I know they can be a light fun thing, no big deal. To me, though, I have zero desire to take part in it. My brain just rips the idea apart, and they never feel genuine to me. Always forced with a thinly veiled undertone of pity. They seem to skip an important step in relationship foundation, and while it is a skippable step, it just seems to make them feel manufactured.
I'm really lazy, so a blind date set up by a friend would be quite welcome. The "blind" aspect will be apparent at any point in the relationship anyway, be it when you meet them in the cafe, book store, sex shop, wherever or when you're actually on the date. To me, that just eliminates the bizarre mating dance stage and gets right to "Let's stop beating around the bush and figure each other out". I find the idea to be extremely awkward; I feel like there's a lot of pressure on me to like the person, because if I don't that might reflect the person that set me up, because what if the person that set me up is really good friends with the blind date, and we don't mix and I unintentionally hurt their feelings because we don't mix well?
I find that just makes room for a whole world of awkwardness. I find it would be especially weird if another girl set me up with a guy (unless they were related) because I'd think, "If he's so great, how come you're not going out with him?" and if it's a guy setting me up, that can be bad because a guy's definition of a "great guy," is totally different from a girl's definition.
In short, I'd probably feel a little too pressured to like that person because it's like they set me up as a favor to me or to the other person.
I'm not into it. It's too contrived for me. I like the idea of meeting my soul mate a tad bit more serendipitously. Lol, my friends actually tried to do this with me.
They took me to a beach and brought another guy who was kinda quiet and had apparently read a few books in his life... yeah, that was their measure of compatibility right there. Naturally, we didn't get to know each other and nothing happened. I wouldn't mind a blind date if my friends knew me better though.
My friends have been trying to get set me up with people they know for over 2 years now, and every time they offer, I say no. Basically, you're trying to throw me into a situation where: I don't know the person I'm talking to I feel pressured to make sure the person likes me I have to talk about myself a lot I am acutely aware of every little thing I do wrong I feel very awkward in general All things I hate.
I appreciate that they're trying to help, but I can't make myself do it. I have friends who have set date scenarios up for other friends, but never with me. I guess the reason why is because I don't really express my feelings of wanting to be with anyone to them (even though I do but it's a semi-complicated thing). Plus I'm pretty sure if they ever did set me up with anyone, I wouldn't be interested. I think blind dates are incredibly awkward. You really don't know the person you're with and then at the end of it all, if you have no interest or if they have no interest, there's that whole 'I never want to talk to him/her again' or something in relation to that.
As regard to being set up by a friend, it would still be awkward. I prefer to look for dates on my own.
Strangers Have Awkward First Date Playing Never Have I Ever