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By: Cynthia Measom - Updated June 08, 2015 When you break up with your significant other, you should be open to communication even though talking about the situation -- or to your ex -- may be the last thing on your mind.
Sometimes, talking about your feelings with a trusted friend or a professional can help alleviate any overwhelming feelings of sadness, guilt or regret. Also, if you happen to run into the person with whom you're no longer involved, you want to be prepared to deal with the encounter appropriately. Tips • Take up a new hobby or join a gym to distract yourself from thinking about your failed relationship.
• Find an online forum that's dedicated to people who have suffered breakups. Post your story online and join in the discussions with others about their experiences. This is a place to communicate with others who understand your situation. This will also help you avoid dumping your woes on your friends and family, over and over again. Warning • While an occasional comment is understandable, be careful not to abuse your friendships by dominating every conversation with your woes about your past relationship.
Genuine friends often welcome the opportunity to be supportive, but they may become tired of hearing you continuously rehash the details of the relationship and breakup.
best date someone after a breakup - Can You Really Be Friends With Someone After a Breakup?
Getting back up on your feet (and TBH out of your bed) can be really hard after a heartbreak. But no matter how many times you swear that you'll just be alone forever and ever, you know that just isn't true.
The best part of a heartbreak is that it eventually ends, and sometimes it ends just around the time you meet someone NEW and GREAT. 1. You already know that you're strong enough to survive a nasty breakup. Sure, you know how bad it can hurt, but you also know that it's nothing you can't get through, and that lets you relax and take more chances in your new relationship.
2. It makes you excited about the idea of love for the first time in a long time. Finally, that pesky urge to throw spitballs at every passing couple goes away a little because now you are one of those passing couples. ENJOY THIS MOMENT. 3. You get to learn how someone new kisses and hugs and touches, and it's all super-exciting. Literally is there anything better than kissing new people? No. There is not. 4. It's a chance to make new memories in places where you might have bad ones. The coffee shop where Adam tried to break up with you that one night no longer has to make you cry just from thinking about it, because you can take this new partner there and make beautiful, coffee-fueled memories with them.
5. You're better at the little things that make a relationship go smoothly, like good communication and learning to make space. Basically all dating is just practice for more dating. So if you're doing it at all, you're getting better at it, one relationship at a time. 6. You know more about what you do and don't like from a partner. And you're less scared to just tell this new partner when they're doing something that bugs you, because if you learned anything from your ex, it's that there's only so much room to compromise on things that are truly important to you in a relationship.
7. You get to remember how great it is to have a go-to "dinner tonight?" person. Not that doing things alone and with friends isn't sometimes the best, but maybe the best part of being in a relationship is having someone who will come over and flop around with you on the couch and call it "hanging out." Truly one of life's greatest pleasures is having someone to do nothing with.
8. You get to try new things in bed and learn new things about your ~sexual preferences~. We're all just floating around in this world, getting better at having sex with other humans, learning new things that make us feel good and great.
9. It's a new person to tell all your favorite life stories to for the first time. One of the best things about meeting someone new is getting to share yourself with them. It's great to be known by other people! Intimacy. A truly fun thing. 10. You realize you're actually incredibly lovable and dateable, and not everyone will hurt you like your ex did. Guess what, all those things your friends were telling you when you were crying over your ex are true.
You are not a bad person, you are not unlovable — you are, in fact, a true gem! Sometimes it just takes someone saying they wanna be with you to fully realize that, and it's OK. We're all ~human~. 11. You get introduced to a whole new set of potential favorite places and date spots.Everyone has different places they like to take their dates to, and now you've just doubled yours. Nothing wrong with stealing romantic ideas from all your life's partners.
12. You know that if this relationship does end, there will always be someone out there who's better for you. You thought love was dead when things ended with your ex but then you met this person, who's better in so many ways.
Plenty of fish, as they say. It's real. You haven't met most of the people you'll know yet, and TBH that is so comforting. Follow Hannah on .
PHOTO: Getty Images/Westend61 When it comes to post-breakup dating, there are two main philosophies: One is that, if you date right after a breakup, you're rebounding, which is unhealthy. Then there's the whole idea that "the best way to is to get under someone else." Which is right? How long should you really wait to date after a breakup? Paulette Kouffman Sherman, Psy.D., psychologist and author of , says it's hard to put a number on it—but you'll probably want to wait at least a month before jumping back into the dating pool again.
"Most people need a month or two to process the breakup, to mourn, and to integrate lessons before jumping back in if they were in a fairly serious relationship," she says. If you dated someone for a year or more, you may need three to four months. On the other hand, you might need less time if your relationship was very short. More important than the specific amount of time you need, though, is the state of mind you're in.
You want to make sure you're not still in post-breakup mode. You have to get past the (valid and often necessary) stage of curling up on your couch and really mourning the loss of your relationship and to the point where you're back in the swing of work, hobbies, friends, and everything else your life normally includes.
"This way, you will feel whole and in high self-esteem before you go back into the next relationship and won't just be trying to fill that hole," says Sherman. Taking a break from dating after a breakup isn't just about licking your wounds, though—it's also about figuring out what you've learned and can carry over to your next relationship, says psychologist Sanam Hafeez, Psy.D.
"The ends of relationships teach us so much about ourselves: our style of communication, whether that style is effective or not, how we handle insecurities, conflict, and co-existing as an individual and as part of a two-some simultaneously," she says. Think about what your relationship and breakup taught you about what you want—and don't want. Hafeez also advises making sure you're not interested in dating just to distract yourself from your breakup.
So a fling or one-night stand after a breakup may not be a bad thing—but if you're looking to get into another serious relationship, you're probably better off waiting until you're more or less over your previous one.
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When Is The Right Time To Date After A Break Up ? Ft. Gina Darling