Best advice on dating a divorced man living healthy easy recipes

best advice on dating a divorced man living healthy easy recipes

See the unexpected benefits of dating a divorced man If he imagined post-wedding life to be perfect before he was divorced, he knows better now. Divorced men are no longer living in fantasy land,Dr.Tessina says, noting that she andher husband had both gone through splits when they married 32 years ago. They have a more realistic picture of what it takes to have a successful relationship.This makes for a more grounded union, Dr. Carroll explains. When you get married a second time, your expectations are a lot lower. But that's a good thing because he's less likely to be disappointed. 8. He's more .

best advice on dating a divorced man living healthy easy recipes

In a time when only about half of marriages survive the test of time, it’s important to be extremely careful about where you get your relationship advice from. Between tabloid magazines that want to sell you phony dating advice to make a few bucks, blockbuster rom-coms that sell you happily-ever-afters to make a few billion bucks, and even the well-meaning friend who just wants the best for you but maybe doesn’t know what she’s talking about, there’s a lot of bad relationship advice out there!

So, it may seem counterintuitive that some of the most honest and practical advice about marriage could come from somebody who actually failed at it. But hindsight is 20/20 as they say, and one divorced man is now speaking out with the biggest things he learned from his first marriage falling apart… and it’s pretty beautiful. Marriage Advice From A Divorced Man The very day after his divorce became official, Gerald Rogers, author and motivational speaker, sat down at his computer and shared a wedding day photo and a heartfelt message about what he’s learned about keeping a marriage happy and healthy (he’s now happily married to Krysta J.

Rogers). You can read the full post below: “Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had… 1) Never stop courting Never stop dating.

NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it.

This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love. 2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance.

Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife.

Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there. 3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today.

Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her. 4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her Focus only on what you love.

What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife. 5) IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER Your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing.

And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not. 6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love. 7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility.

When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were. 8) Allow your woman to JUST BE When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok.

Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9) BE SILLY Don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easie TOAKE HER SEXUALLY 10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY Learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED.

Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen. 11) BE PRESENT Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is. 12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY To carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul.

Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully. 13) DON’T BE AN IDIOT And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid 14) GIVE HER SPACE The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing….

(okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.) 15) BE VULNERABLE You don’t have to have it all together.

Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes. 16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light.

DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be. 17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool.

Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship.

Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards. 18) DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win. 19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM.

Cut the anchor loose and always choose love. 20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage.

Love will always endure. In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come. Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time. These are lessons I learned the hard way.

These are lessons I learned too late. But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time. If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love.

One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

The woman that told him ‘I do’, and trusted her life with him, has been waiting for this man to step up. If you are reading this and your marriage isn’t what you want it to be, take 100% responsibility for YOUR PART in marriage, regardless of where your spouse is at, and commit to applying these lessons while there is time. MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE: mit to being an EPIC LOVER.

There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you. Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.” Since writing this post, Gerald has had more time to elaborate his thoughts. For more inspiring advice, whether you’re currently in a relationship or healing from a broken one, check out Gerald’s book Marriage Advice I Wish I Would’ve Had: What Divorce Taught Me About Love and Life.

Source: theheartysoul


best advice on dating a divorced man living healthy easy recipes

best advice on dating a divorced man living healthy easy recipes - Top tips for dating a divorced man with kids


best advice on dating a divorced man living healthy easy recipes

“If we make the conscious decision to daily place our spouse’s desires and needs above our own, and that’s reciprocated, the marriage will succeed. Utter and complete selflessness. Isn’t this true in all healthy relationships?” My advice after a divorce following 16 years of marriage, by Gerald Rogers. Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had: • Never Stop Courting Never stop dating.

NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with.

SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love. • Protect Your Own Heart Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there. • Fall In Love Over And Over Again You will constantly change.

You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

• Always See The Best In Her Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love.

Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife. • it’s Not Your Job To Change Or Fix Her Your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

• Take Full Accountability… …For your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love. • Never Blame Your Wife If You… get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU.

They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

• Allow Your Woman To Just Be When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET.

Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

• Be Silly… Don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier. • Fill Her Soul Everyday… Learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

• Be Present Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is. • Be Willing To Take Her Sexually… To carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul.

Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully. • Don’t Be An Idiot And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid. • Give Her Space The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing.

(Okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.) • Be Vulnerable… You don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes. • Be Fully Transparent If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share.

It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light.

DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be. • Never Stop Growing Together The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool.

Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards. • Don’t Worry About Money Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight.

Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win. • Forgive Immediately… And focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage.

Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love. • Always Choose Love ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end marriage isn’t about happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come. Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs.

Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time. These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late. But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward.

Truth is, I loved being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time. If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love.

One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for. MEN – THIS IS YOUR CHARGE: Commit to being an EPIC LOVER.There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize.

Your woman deserves that from. Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.


best advice on dating a divorced man living healthy easy recipes

As a wise quote I once found on Pinterest said, "Better to have loved and lost, than to live with that crazy person for the rest of your life." Ah, marriage. The age-old tale of two soulmates falling for one another, growing a family, and living happily ever after ...

. While ., your chances of getting divorced are still 50/50, according to University of Maryland Sociology Professor Philip Cohen (). That being said, I am 31, single, and have never been married, so why am I writing about post-divorce relationship advice? Well, truthfully, I am fascinated by all things love.

I love to set people up (over the years I have matched up many couples who are now married or engaged), I love love songs, I love LOVE! At the same time, I'm also deeply fascinated by breakups, divorces, and the theory that not all love is meant to last.

I also find that those who have loved and lost often times gain very valuable emotional insight, something I discovered while dating in Manhattan — not to sound all Carrie Bradshaw, but it's true. I have met men from all walks of previous relationship statuses, and I've been particularly enlightened by my chats with divorced men. I feel like sometimes when you go through something in life, and it doesn't work out the way you want it to, you learn more about yourself than you would have if it had worked out.

In general, I think divorced people are full of sage nuggets of wisdom that seem so simple on the surface, yet ring so true when I think about them in the context of my own romantic relationships. So rather than keep these insights that I've gathered to myself, I wanted to share them, so that they can potentially help others work through their own relationship issues.

1. Put yourself first. Always. "In my opinion it is impossible to be with someone on [a romantic] level if you do not take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. For example, I was often stressed with no outlet for my stress, because I was focusing so much on trying to be a good partner." —Matt*, 30 2.

Love can't fix all problems. "Know what your real deal breakers are. I'm not talking about having a master's degree or blonde hair, but real life choices: kids, work or stay home, and so on. Be honest with yourself and your partner about what you want. If they are very different you may be screwed.

Love can't fix that. In fact it can make it worse because you say to yourself that the other person can change, or they only think that way now, or we can compromise. But if it is really important to you, stand firm, and walk away now, before you drag the other person through pain and suffering." —Ed, 33 3.

Compliments really do make a difference. "Tell her that she's beautiful. All the advice books ever written just come down to that." —Colin*, 38 4. Be real about life's challenges. "Figure out how the other person communicates and how you do, and find a path to each other's styles. And don't make assumptions. The reality is that life gets harder and more complicated and you need to be able to understand each other and communicate and respect the positives and negatives you both bring to the table.

" —Ryan*, 40 5. Age is more than just a number. "Don't even think about [marriage] before age 25. Take it completely off the table. No man knows who he is before 25." — Brendan*, 35 6. Hone in on your intellectual connection. "I would have asked myself to rank our emotional and intellectual connection out of 10, and if the answer wasn't a 7 in both cases, I would have told myself to leave her." — Brad*, 42 7. Be honest. "Men marry women thinking they won't change and they do; women marry men thinking they will change and they don't." —Eric*, 43 8.

Strive for more than status quo. "Don't settle for contentment." —Steve*, 40 9. Love each other for who you truly are. "Make sure she loves you for who you are, what you believe, and where you came from every day that you are together." —Gino, 34 *The names of these people have been changed for privacy.


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