Best 36 dating questions to ask a man youre

best 36 dating questions to ask a man youre

Dating is so mired in game-playing and pickup moves these days that it's amazing anyone ever ends up finding lasting love. So we're huge fans of any approach that manages to cut through all that B.S. For example, many years ago -- before we each found lasting love, against those game-playing odds -- Lo conducted a sort of social-romantic experiment: When a friend introduced her to a guy who seemed very nice and whom she was instantly attracted to, she asked him if he'd like to be her boyfriend Mandy and her date decided to replicate the experiment, except in a bar. They found the list of questions online and passed an iPhone back and forth between them (who said smart phones are killing romance?!), starting with questions like, Would you like to be famous? In what way?

best 36 dating questions to ask a man youre

Photo by iStock.com/StockRocketHow you can incorporate some of the 36 great date questions you can ask on a date that lead to love, according to a 2015 New York Times Article. In this video-coaching newsletter, I discuss the 2015 New York Times article titled, A viewer sent in the link to the article and wanted to know if I thought it was a good idea to discuss some of these on a date, and if so, how would I suggest bringing them up.

Not all of the questions elicit positive emotions, so I discuss some of them which are fun, and which ones to avoid and discuss later on down the line, after you are intimate and exclusive, to turn them on instead of turning them off. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this) below. Viewer’s Email: Hey Corey, Photo by iStock.com/ArthurHiddenSimply put: you’re amazing!

My question: What do you think about asking a woman on a first date the “36 Questions That Lead To Love?” Good or bad idea? Here’s the link if you’re not familiar with the 36 questions: Thanks in advance, and I’ve already referred your book to a lot of my friends.

Soon you’re going to have to change the name of to: “How to be a 4% Man!” Bob My response: Hi Bob, As I discuss in , only 3% of the world’s population is succeeding at every area of their life. The population seems to continually expand, and there’s always somebody who is going through a breakup. I see people saying, “I really don’t want to recommend your book to my friends because, what if too many people find out about it, and then I have competition?” Well, that’s a scarcity mindset obviously, and that’s not the way you want to think.

Set I 1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? 2. Would you like to be famous?

In what way? 3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why? 4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you? 5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else? 6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want? Photo by iStock.com/gollykim7.

Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? (On a first date you don’t want to talk about dying, so obviously, I would nix that. The idea is to be playful, fun, uplifting, positive, the kind of questions that can make your date laugh, because that elicits positive emotions.) 8.

Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common. 9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

(This is a good positive question.) 10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be? (I probably wouldn’t ask that particular question, because it presupposes there was something wrong about your childhood, you had a negative childhood, or there’s something about you that you don’t like.) 11.

Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible. 12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be? Set II 13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it? 15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? Photo by iStock.com/svetikd 16. What do you value most in a friendship? (That’s a good one, because the question presupposes something positive.) 17. What is your most treasured memory? 18. What is your most terrible memory?

(I would definitely steer clear of that one.) 19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

Why? (Again, this presupposes you are not doing what you should be doing with your life.) 20. What does friendship mean to you? (That’s a good one. It tells you how the other person thinks of it.

A book that I highly recommend is by Gary Chapman. It’s a great book because for some people, giving affection or giving complements is their love language. With other people, it’s giving gifts.

And with other people, it’s spending quality time with the other person. If you’re somebody who’s a gift giver, and you’re dating somebody who wants to hear how much you care about them, you don’t really understand that, and you’re communicating by giving gifts, no matter how many gifts or nice things you do, you’re going to make the other person feel like you don’t care.

I think that’s a really great book. That’s another fun one to discuss, “Hey, I read this great book recently, by Gary Chapman, called “The 5 Love Languages.” Do you know what your love language is?”) Photo by iStock.com/Geber8621.

What roles do love and affection play in your life? (That’s an interesting one. It would kind of give you some insight on what the other person thinks about love and what they think about affection.) 22.

Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items. 23. How close and warm is your family?

Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s? (That’s an interesting one, because it presupposes you were happier in your childhood than most people. What if the person you’re on a date with says, “My childhood really sucked.” A positive, optimistic person, no matter what happened in their childhood, doesn’t say negative things on dates.) 24.

How do you feel about your relationship with your mother? (That’s an interesting one, especially if you’re not too sure on a date about the other person.

Ask a woman if she was close with her dad, because that’s important. The bottom line is, statistically, women who have great relationships with their father, place a high value on communication and commitment, and whose parents are still together, are going to be a lot more likely to communicate and work things out. Typically, women who grew up and had a bad relationship, or a non-existent relationship, with their father are going to have a hard time trusting men.

Those women often tend to be jealous, insecure, tend to assume the worst and, especially if they grew up in a household where there was a lot of arguing and fighting going on, they oftentimes, men and women both, want to avoid things when there are problems. They’re going to be the type that say they don’t want to talk about it, they never bring something up, or worse, they give you the silent treatment.

You can use these to prequalify your date. If it’s a positive question, and they just have one negative answer after another, what does that tell you about them, where they live emotionally? If everything that comes out of their mouth is negative, that’s their worldview. They’re always going to presuppose something negative versus something positive.) Photo by iStock.com/nd3000 Set III 25.

Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …” 26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …” 27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know. 28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met. 29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself? 31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already. 32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

(That’s a negative type of thing.) 33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet? 34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire.

After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why? 35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why? (Not appropriate for a first date. That’s not okay.) 36.

Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen. Maybe after you’re dating for a couple of months, you’re girl is in love, and she wants to be exclusive, maybe that’s the right time to bring up the Set III questions. If you’re trying to decide if you want to get serious with somebody or not, that’s a good time to bring up these kinds of questions.

Corey Wayne If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: If you feel I have added value to your life, you can show your appreciation by doing one of the following three things: • Make a donation to my work by anytime you feel I have added significant value to your life. You tip your favorite bartender, right? How about a buck... $2... $3...

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Get the iTunes Audio Book for $19.95 by . That way, you'll always have it with you to reference when you need it most. Thank you for reading this message! From my heart to yours, Corey Wayne Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur “When you are on a first date, your questions and topics of discussion should be positive and fun. It’s best not to discuss negative or overly serious topics. If you are a man on a date with a woman, whatever emotions your questions and topics of discussion elicit are what she will associate with being with you.

Save the negative and heavy subjects for after you are intimate and serious, or you will run the risk of turning your date off and lowering their attraction to you.

If it’s not positive, uplifting and fun, don’t bring it up. You are on a date to have fun and enjoy each other. Not to be their therapist. You want to be an escape from life, an enhancement, someone to bond with and a blessing, not a turd in the punchbowl.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne Click Anywhere on Today's Instagram Image Below & You'll Be Taken To My Instagram Page.

When you get to my Instagram page, click the "Follow" Button so you can follow me on Instagram. I upload several new Instagram photos per week. I wish I had had your counsuls about questions for dates before, I had a date with a girl and I brought a set of question that I found in mantelligence.com (Good Site btw), one them said “Have you done something ilegal lately?, She told me she was on drugs I laughed but she told me it was real so I realized that kind of girls are not my type of girls haha, I felt very awkward questioning that kind of questions, but at the end was a fun experience..

I´m going to send you an email with my succes story, now I´m on my 6th read.. but to make it short, I reached the point where I have 2 high quality women who want to be exclusives. Thank you Corey, From Mexico Cesar Enter your name & email in the boxes above to gain access to FREE Digital Online Versions of my popular eBooks & audio course.

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This is a member supported site. You tip your favorite bartender, right? How about a buck, $2, $3, $5, maybe $10? Whatever YOU feel its worth, every time you feel I have given you a good tip, new knowledge or helpful insight. Please feel free to donate any amount you think is equal to the value you received from my eBook & Home Study Course (audio lessons), articles, emails, videos, newsletters, etc.


best 36 dating questions to ask a man youre

best 36 dating questions to ask a man youre - 21 Questions to Ask a Guy (In Real Life / Over Text)


best 36 dating questions to ask a man youre

For example, many years ago -- before we each found lasting love, against those game-playing odds -- Lo conducted a sort of social-romantic experiment: When a friend introduced her to a guy who seemed very nice and whom she was instantly attracted to, she asked him if he'd like to be her boyfriend. Standard protocol would have had her flirt with him and wait for him to buy her a drink and then pretend to be just a little bit interested and he would do the same and so on until maybe they'd manage to "hang out" a few times and perhaps, eventually, stumble into a real relationship.

Instead, she asked him if he'd like to cut through all the crap and immediately go steady, kind of like kids do in grade school, before they learn how to save face. He astonishingly agreed. The hand-holding in public was immediate, as was the soul bearing.

The relationship lasted only a month or two, but it was healthy and full of honest communication, and when they parted ways, it was as friends. Em accidentally conducted a similar experiment a decade ago: After Em had two great dates with a guy, the two of us (Em and Lo) had to fly to England for nearly a month, on a book tour for the U.K. edition of our first book, . Em and the guy weren't in touch during that time -- the relationship seemed too new to support long-distance communication -- but when she returned, they had a third date.

Except it didn't feel like a third date... it felt more like they'd already been dating a month. So they naturally, mutually, without really discussing anything, just skipped all the are-we-really-into-each-other nonsense of those first unsteady weeks. She was able to leap-frog her bad habit of being attracted to guys who just weren't into her, and he was able to leap-frog the male version of this. And, reader, she married him. We found a third example of this kind of "speed mating" in the Modern Love column of the Times this past week: The gist of the piece: During a first date with a guy she'd kind of known for a while, the author had one of those flirty-theoretical conversations about whether it was possible to fall in love with anyone.

(It's the kind of conversation that's possible to have on a first date, because you're basically strangers, but then you can't really talk about that stuff again until you're in a very serious relationship.) The author, Mandy Len Catron, recalled a scientific study she'd once read about, wherein a researcher put two complete strangers in a lab, had them ask each other a series of increasingly intimate questions -- thirty-six, in all -- and then had them stare into each other's eyes for four minutes.

One of the couples in the study ended up marrying (yes, the researcher scored an invite!). Mandy and her date decided to replicate the experiment, except in a bar. They found the list of questions online and passed an iPhone back and forth between them (who said smart phones are killing romance?!), starting with questions like, "Would you like to be famous? In what way?" And "When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?" Then they progressed to more intimate questions, such as "Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common," and, of course, "How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?" Finally, they relocated to a nearby bridge and held eye contact for four excruciating minutes.

Reader, they fell in love. Of course, this experiment isn't going to work with any random stranger you pluck out of your morning commute. But on a first date, where chemistry and at least a little mutual interest has already been established, we like it a lot more than all of that crappy, heartbreaking game-playing. Plus, it's a great way to weed out selfish, one-track-minded pickup artists before you get in too deep. As the author says: But what I like about this study is how it assumes that love is an action.

It assumes that what matters to my partner matters to me because we have at least three things in common, because we have close relationships with our mothers, and because he let me look at him. ... The study [gave] us a way into a relationship that feels deliberate. 1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way? 3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why? 4. What would constitute a "perfect" day for you? 5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else? 6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? 8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful? 10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be? 11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible. 12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be? 13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know? 14. Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time?

Why haven't you done it? 15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? 16. What do you value most in a friendship? 17. What is your most treasured memory? 18. What is your most terrible memory? 19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

Why? 20. What does friendship mean to you? 21. What roles do love and affection play in your life? 22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items. 23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's? 24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother? 25. Make three true "we" statements each.

For instance, "We are both in this room feeling ... " 26. Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... " 27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know. 28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met. 29.

Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life. 30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself? 31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already. 32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet? 34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why? 36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it.

Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.


best 36 dating questions to ask a man youre

10 Perfect Questions to Ask on a First Date
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