A good man will treat you with the respect that you deserve, never force you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, and never mistreat you. Be honest enough with yourself to walk away from any situation that is dangerous to you, physically or emotionally. A true gentleman will put effort into your relationship. Boys are generally apathetic and just look for one thing from a woman. A man, will do what it takes to make you happy, both inside and outside of the bedroom. Your happiness, is his reward Being real whether your a man or a woman is being at your significant others side to the very end through the ups and downs. Supporting them no matter how angry you are with them or how much you disagree with them. Loving that person with all your heart and never being afraid to show it.
It’s awfully easy for a man to puff up his chest and put on a show, but how can you know if he is a real man worth dating? Discover the truth today with these 10 Essential Qualities of a Gentleman. 1. A real man is responsive to your needs. Real men don’t merely care about how you fit into their world; instead, they care about your individual needs. If your partner gets upset just because your needs interrupt his day or cause a minor inconvenience, then you should find someone less selfish to share your life with.
2. A real man would never project his faults onto you. Real men don’t automatically assume a relationship’s problems are caused by you; instead, they take an honest look in the mirror before speaking up, because it can be easy to project your own problems onto another person. If your partner always points the finger at you instead of working together with you as a team, then he isn’t worthy of your companionship. 3. A real man is willing to take action without hesitation.
Real men don’t seek approval for every thing they do; instead, they are confident enough to take action without hesitation. While your partner should consult you about major life decisions that you deserve to have a say in, he shouldn’t be so hesitant that he seeks your permission for every single thing he does. If your partner is unable to exercise anything resembling independent thought, then he will become so clingy that you’ll want to scream. 4. A real man is passionate about something besides his relationship.
Real men don’t consider their relationship to be their one and only interest; instead, they have passions that don’t involve you. If your partner pitches a fit any time you make plans that don’t involve him, then you could be dating a person who is severely lacking in ambition.
5. A real man isn’t suspicious or paranoid without cause. Real men don’t accuse you of cheating without cause; instead, they only speak up if they have a concrete reason for having a suspicion, and even then they do so in a way that doesn’t involve wild accusations. If your partner gets paranoid just because you happen to have male co-workers or friends (crazy idea since that is approximately half of the population), or if he is so suspicious that he snoops your texts and Internet use behind your back, .
Scroll down to continue reading article 6. A real man can stay calm and cool during a confrontation. Real men don’t resort to insults, judgement or violence during a confrontation; instead, they are willing to talk through the issue without devolving to personal attacks. If your partner explodes in anger at the slightest provocation, then please tread cautiously for your own safety.
7. A real man cares about his appearance. Real men don’t “let themselves go” just because they are married or in a sustainable relationship; instead, they continue to take care of their body. Physical appearance isn’t the most important thing in the world, but there is no denying that sexual attraction is a necessary ingredient of any healthy relationship.
If your partner can’t be bothered to exercise or practice basic grooming habits, then expect your intimacy to die a slow and painful death.
8. A real man doesn’t add insult to injury. Real men don’t proclaim “I told you so!” after winning an argument; instead, they let the issue go as if it didn’t even happen. If your partner makes you feel like a bad person just because you were wrong, then you might be dating a man who isn’t . 9. A real man is happy to bask in the present moment with the love of his life.
Real men aren’t so consumed by their work that they can’t be bothered to spend uninterrupted time with you; instead, they are happy to turn off their phone so they can focus on enjoying the present moment with a partner they know they are lucky to have. If your partner can’t turn away from his work, even for a moment, to express how much he loves and appreciates you… then he isn’t going to be capable of providing you with the romance and attention you deserve.
10. A real man isn’t concerned with fitting into societal stereotypes. Real men aren’t spineless conformists; instead, they exercise independent thought to make their own decisions, with no concern for what “society” or “the guys” have to say about it.
If your partner is always consumed by what is the “manly” thing to do, then you might be dating a man who isn’t capable of thinking for himself. What do you look for in a “real man”? Tell us all about it in the comments, and feel free to pass this article along to anyone who you feel would be entertained or helped by it. Featured photo credit: It has been said that you do not get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate for.
I have seen this play out time and time again – in my own life and in the lives of others. Chances are, you have too. Have you ever been in an employment situation where you were hired and thought you had an okay deal only to realize a colleague received a great deal?
Regardless of how skilled you are, chances are you can benefit from tips that position you to be a better negotiator. For example, if you are in talks to purchase a home and are wrangling among a seller, the seller’s agent and your own agent, you could benefit from tools to help you remain calm under pressure and assert your wishes. If you are preparing to negotiate for a new position or promotion, and are questioning whether you are asking for too little, too much or just enough, here are at least 12 points on how to negotiate better so you can keep in mind prior to heading into negotiations.
1. Understand That Negotiations Are Inherently Stressful, and That’s Ok Walking into a negotiation is not like walking into an informal lunch with a friend. Negotiations are inherently stressful, and you should let yourself off the hook for feeling anxious about these adrenaline-pumping discussions.
Minda Harts, the founder of The Memo, shared, “Negotiations are a high-stakes game because everything is on the line. It is natural to feel anxiety. Whether you are negotiating pay, equity or whatever, it is important to prepare for high-stakes conversations. You can do this by conducting research, role-playing and getting clear on your worth.” 2. Know Your Worth Before you ever sit down at a bargaining or negotiating table, you should have a clear sense of your worth.
Understand what you do better than others and understand how your work will improve the organization or company to which you belong or are seeking to join.
At the most fundamental level, you should have a good sense of how your skills will add value to the company. When you have a sense of your worth, you have a starting point or frame of reference in negotiations.
You will also be better prepared to answer the “?” question. Harts agreed, “If you go into a negotiation not knowing your worth, you’ll look to others to define your worth and they may not value your contribution appropriately. Understanding your skills and expertise, and knowing your worth allows you to position yourself from a place or power.” 3. Understand Your Emotion and the Emotions of Others In the workplace, women have been conditioned to hide or abandon emotion.
Men and women alike are told emotion has no place in negotiations. This isn’t entirely true. It doesn’t serve us well to avoid or discard emotion. We should understand our emotions as well as the emotions of others. When you understand your emotions and work to be emotionally intelligent, you anticipate what others are feeling and respond accordingly. When you consciously try to understand the emotions of others, you allow that insight to assist you, enabling you to pivot and adjust during the actual negotiation.
Failing to understand emotions may mean you are unable to develop creative approaches for unanticipated challenges. Researchers Kimberlyn Leary, Julianna Pillemer and Michael Wheeler observed in a 2013 Harvard Business Review article:  “The truth is that your passions matter in real-life deal making and dispute resolution. You need to understand, channel, and learn from your emotions in order to adapt to the situation at hand and engage others successfully.
That means you need to be emotionally prepared to negotiate—even when you expect the process to go smoothly.” 4. Conduct Tons of Research You cannot begin to know what is fair and what is appropriate without research.
If you are negotiating for a new position or promotion, you’ll want to know your predecessor’s benefits package. You’ll want to try to determine what the last person who interviewed and perhaps was offered the position received. You will want to review a company’s 990 to determine what its highest earners make and what those people do.
You will want to know what the market offers for positions like the one to which you are applying and what you can be replaced for. If you are negotiating for a new home, you will want to know what the home appraises for, whether there are liens against the property, what upgrades the seller has made to the home and what other homes on the block have sold for.
You will also want to know whether there have been foreclosures in the area so you will know how those foreclosures impact your property value. If you are in labor negotiations, there is a whole set of other information (such as profits, information from 990s, public complaints, long-term goals, etc.) you need to know before you can begin to know what is fair and acceptable for both the company and the union.
The bottom line is that walking into a negotiation without information is a recipe for disaster and dissatisfaction. 5. Understand What Motivates the Other Party For some people, status matters. For others, money and resources matter. For others still, autonomy and flexibility are motivators.
Regardless of which side of the negotiating table you sit on, you need to understand what motivates the people with whom you are negotiating. You cannot assess what you will need to give or make appropriate offers without an understanding of key motivators. 6. Don’t Wait for Perfection One of the things I loved about Katty Kay and Claire Shipman’s was their take on the dangers of perfection.
They assert that often women wait for perfection before submitting projects or asking for a raise or promotion. They point out that we underestimate our own work. I see this in my own career, and I imagine it rings true for others as well. The key takeaway for me from their book was that perfection isn’t insurance for progress.
to begin negotiations over what you want. Scroll down to continue reading article If you wait for perfection, you may never seek out that raise, promotion or reassignment. 7. Say If Afraid If you are someone who shuns conflict and the very thought of negotiating unnerves you, you should know that you can negotiate while afraid. You do not have to be courageous to negotiate.
You can ask for what you want, even when it scares you. I remember desperately wanting a pay increase but was too afraid to ask for it. I was fearful I would introduce the topic at the wrong time; I was fearful my boss would scoff when I made my request; and most importantly, I was afraid she would say no. My boss was an incredibly busy lawyer, and I knew every moment of her time was valuable. However, I knew that my silence and unwillingness to ask for what I wanted would gnaw at me.
I resolved that I was just going to ask and blurted out my request during a check-in. She said no. I thought about my presentation and realized that I should have made my request in a more formal manner. I should have put it in writing and outlined my contributions. I didn’t anticipate that even an informal request could get me closer to what I wanted. A couple of months later, my boss told me that she hadn’t forgotten my request, and when it was time for the annual cost of living increase, I received that as well as a small bump.
She did exactly as she promised. Going forward, I will be better prepared, but the lesson for me was to ask, even when fearful. 8. Be Willing to Walk Away Every opportunity is not for you. Regardless of how much you want that position, home or promotion, be willing to walk away if you do not receive a deal that makes sense for you. Do not allow yourself to get desperate and accept a position that you will come to view unfavorably in the future.
Have enough confidence in yourself and in your abilities to leave the table completely. When your sparring or negotiating partner realizes that you are willing to walk away completely, he or she may negotiate in better faith. 9. Shun Secrecy I am a proponent of being discreet, but discreetness can be the enemy when it comes to negotiations. To negotiate the best deal, you may need to shun secrecy. You will need to ask others what they earn or whether the offer you received makes sense for your years of experience, for the area of the country where you live or the position to which you are applying.
If possible, find out whether the company offered the position to others and on what terms. I was negotiating for a position and was comfortable accepting $85,000, and then a friend told me the company offered the position to a man with similar credentials and experience for $100,000.
With the assistance of a friend, I was able to get $99,840. This example illustrates why it is important to speak with trusted colleagues and mentors about offers and solicit their input on whether you are getting the best deal.
10. Look for the Win-Win Negotiations are not one side takes all, so try not to fall into the “winners” and “losers” trap. It is possible to negotiate in a way where there are no losers but everyone wins. The best way to is having tons of research, understanding what motivates the other party and being willing to show and discern emotion.
Another strategy for identifying the win-win is listening carefully during negotiations to discern what is of interest to the other party.
People will tell you what they want – the question is whether you are listening. If you are in tune with the person with whom you are negotiating, you will be better equipped to identify what he or she needs to feel satisfied and give it to that individual.
11. Refuse to Fill the Pregnant Pause In my line of public relations work, I train colleagues and clients to resist the urge to fill the pregnant pause during media interviews. One tactic that some reporters use is silence during different stages of the interview, hoping the interviewee will keep talking.
But with an abundance of words comes an abundance of opportunity for error. The same is true in negotiations. Once you state your salary and compensation package requirements, be quiet. If the person you are speaking with gets silent, you remain silent with him or her. Do not fill the pregnant pause by lowering your requirements or awkwardly adding chatter because you are uncomfortable with silence. Refuse to fill the pregnant pause.
12. Be Honest When you are negotiating for a new position, be clear with yourself about what you need. Be honest with yourself so that you can be honest with others. If the offer represents 70 percent of what you want, do not discard the 30 percent that you are not receiving.
If you are honest, you can make an informed decision about whether the position is indeed in your best interest or whether you should open yourself up for other opportunities. If you can be mindful of these points and utilize these tactics, I am confident you will negotiate in a manner that gets you and the other party what you both truly need.
You can negotiate like a pro and get the life that you deserve. More Resources About Workplace Communication • • • • • Featured photo credit:
best 10 ways to know your dating a real man to - 10 Ways to Know You've Found a REAL Man
Is every compliment from him about a different body part? It doesn't matter how creative he can be, if a guy's sole focus is on how you look, or 'talking dirty,' see it as a red flag. A real man will value your personality, your kindness, your intelligence, and who you are as a person, in general. The things he makes you feel good about will be things that you control, not just results of getting lucky in the gene pool. A man who has goals for himself, will want to be with a woman who has goals for her own life, too.
He will never feel intimidated or threatened by a woman who goes after what she wants. He will want to be part of a power couple, rather than a dictatorship. Be mindful of anyone who tries to keep you from pursuing your dreams. I don't mean this in a negative way.
You should, of course, be a priority in his life -- but he needs to have a life as well. Interests, friends, hobbies, aspirations. If a man works his entire life around you, it's another red flag -- relationships should be a great part of your life, but not encompass your whole life. No matter how awkward or uncomfortable a situation is, a real man will approach it, and you, with respect. I have always felt that a mark of a man is how he handles conflict, criticism, and less-than-ideal situations.
A man will not dance around answers or make excuses. If there is something you two need to talk about, he will talk about it. As long as you haven't betrayed his trust, a man will NOT be paranoid, or snoop around invading your privacy to make sure you're not doing anything bad. He will have confidence in your relationship. A boy will project his own insecurities onto you, and like termites in a house, will eat away at the foundation of what you've built.
Nothing signifies an empty shell of a man more than someone who disrespects women, animals, or children. A real man will treat you with the respect that you deserve, never force you to do anything you're uncomfortable with, and never mistreat you. Be honest enough with yourself to walk away from any situation that is dangerous to you, physically or emotionally.
1. He’s consistent. He calls regularly, he responds to your texts on time, he meets up when says he will and he shows up when you expect him to. He doesn’t disappear or wait for you to initiate plans.
He makes communication simple and easy — like it should be. 2. He’s honest. He doesn’t try to deceive you or hide the truth from you. He answers your questions even if they’re difficult or deep and he makes things clear to you instead of running away from confrontation or sending you mixed signals. 3. He stands by you. When you’re having problems or when you need someone to count on, he’s there to help you get through things in whichever way he can.
He makes it a point to be involved in the good and bad things in your life. He doesn’t make you feel like your problems are ‘drama’ or tries to avoid you when you’re down. 4. He’s genuinely interested in your story. He wants to know your past, your struggles, your childhood and how you became the person you are today.
He doesn’t just ask shallow questions, he asks real, deep and meaningful questions because he’s invested. 5. He doesn’t give up on you. He doesn’t look at why things won’t work out or find excuses. He doesn’t focus on the differences or the roadblocks. He gives it a real shot even if it might not work out. Even if he’s not fully ready, he gives you a chance because he thinks you’re worth it.
6. He doesn’t confuse you. You’re not running around in circles because of his actions. You’re not questioning his feelings for you and asking all your friends if they think he likes you.
You know for sure he’s not talking to anyone else. He’s assertive when it comes to you. 7. He’s not hung up on an ex or another girl. A real man is loyal. If he decides to date you, he’s dating you because he likes you, not because he’s trying to get over an ex or trying to forget another girl. He doesn’t lead you on only to tell you that he’s still not over his ex. He’s real with you. 8. He makes an effort with your inner circle. Your friends, your close coworkers or your family.
He wants to meet them and be present at their events and occasions with you. He doesn’t want to be known as that guy you’re seeing that no one else has ever seen.
9. When he talks about the future, he mentions you. A real man wants you to share his life with the girl he’s dating because he’s committed, so he’ll proactively make you part of his future plans because he doesn’t just see you as a temporary girl. He tries to show you that he sees a future with you. 10. He makes you feel safe. The biggest sign that you’re with a real man, is how secure you feel with him.
You feel safe. You know you can count on him. You know he won’t let you down. You know he won’t abandon you or take his anger out on you or humiliate you in public. He respects you and when you’re with him, you feel valued and appreciated. You can trust him with yourself and your life.
Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available . Creativity can strike at any moment — make sure you’re prepared for it. To help you do that, we created a functional backpack with the everyday artist in mind. Whether you’re going to school, embarking on a new adventure, or simply just exploring the world around you, take your passion with you. We hope that this backpack becomes a home for the stories you love, the stories you’ve told and the stories you’ve yet to tell.
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