Tips for dating residents. 1. Feed them. Residents work long hours Non-medical things are interesting to residents, especially after a 27 hour shift talking only about medicine. 3. Learn some basic medicine. This is a hard one I think your advice is very helpful and makes a lot of sense. I've been dating a resident for a while now, and we're in a particular rough patch because he's applying for fellowships right now. Although it's true that you have to take the back seat to medicine, I think there should be a little something in here about the fact that the resident needs to put in a small amount of effort. Just a phone call or an I miss you once and a while. My doc goes radio silent and doesn't keep me in the loop.
5 Tips On Dating in Medicine By “The Luv Doc” ( Disclaimer: This is a Sponsor post for , a paid advertiser of #LifeofaMedStudent, and thus has a financial relationship with the site.) 1. Under-Promise, Over-Deliver Yes, you’re busy, but even though you might be extremely busy . . . superhumanly busy . . . that doesn’t make your time more valuable.
Respect the time that your date is putting aside for you by first being brutally honest with yourself: How much time do you really have to spend dating in medicine?
When can you realistically meet your date? Have you built in some time so you can relax and decompress before you meet your date? Dating should always be enjoyable, so do what you need to do to get into an enjoyable state of mind. 2. It’s Not Always About You You live a fascinating life filled with drama, comedy, and plenty of , but don’t make the mistake of thinking you’re the only one who can add to the conversation. A few interesting/humorous work anecdotes are O.K., but don’t turn your date into a blow-by-blow reenactment of your day .
. . unless it’s as and you can wrap it up in less than 15 minutes. It’s all well and good to be an interesting person, but it’s even better to be an interested person.
3. Flush Your Phone Down the Toilet Nothing is more frustrating on a date that someone who is constantly checking their phone. Besides, whether you want to believe it or not, most of the communication you receive isn’t urgent. Train yourself and your co-workers to understand that off the clock is off the clock. If you’re on call, make sure your date understands what that means and accepts the fact that you might not be fully available. 4. Plan for Failure, Expect Success With online dating, it’s very unlikely you’re going to hit it out of the park on the first try.
Don’t be discouraged. Know that you’re going to have to make a commitment if you’re going to be successful. That means dedicating at least a few hours a week to meeting new people—both online and in the real world. Just like anything else, the more you do it, the more comfortable you’ll be, and being relaxed and confident can sometimes make all the difference. 5. Keep an Open Mind You might have the perfect image of your soulmate in your head, but chances are that person doesn’t exist in the real world.
You don’t need to settle, but you do need to be open to getting to know someone even if they don’t exactly fit your ideal.
Remember the old adage “You don’t know what you don’t know”? That goes for dating as well. There are plenty of people out there who are truly wonderful, but they are wonderful in a way you could never expect. Try not to be overly judgmental about first impressions. Keep an open mind and give people the time and space to reveal themselves to be fascinating and special. There is truly no nicer way to be wrong than to be wrong about someone who changes your life for the better.
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They believe that people in these types of relationships better understand the unique challenges their partners face. Check out for more information!
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best tips for dating a medical resident make - The heartbreak of dating an exhausted medical resident
When I was finishing my fifth year of studies as clinical psychology doctoral student, I fell in love with a second-year medical resident; a wanderer at heart with the softest smile and a way of listening that made me feel like the whole world stopped when I spoke.
Whenever possible, we found ourselves in the forest exploring the world on foot or, if the weather was bad, on long drives that led to nowhere. We fell into the most intense connection either of us had ever experienced, and within about a month of meeting, we were both talking about what it meant to fall in love. We had careers, interests, and personalities in common, and even the friends/family we met on each side approved.
Shell shocked was the best way to describe how it felt when the relationship only lasted under a year. What had gone so wrong? When he wasn’t working, we both often bitterly joked that he was eating or sleeping.
If I accompanied him in these activities, we got to spend time together. At times, because my schedule could not always accommodate his changing hours and sparse availability, I wouldn’t see him for a couple of weeks or more. During these times, I would read my past journal entries, searching for the relationship that so often seemed out of reach. Our first date was meeting for brunch on his one day off that month.
I talked too much. You paid, I thanked. You’re busy, so am I. It was as if we have done today in our dreams so many times that very little was surprising or extraordinary. The quiet bliss of the relationship grew, blossomed, and faded away to the last petal over a one-year adventure. We lived and relationship’ed together mostly in the shadows of the night; in the times between my graduate schedule (full-time school) and his rotations at the clinic and hospital.
I wonder if the way I dismiss my body (e.g., skin cancer risks, breathing, lumps) is mirrored in how you dismiss my compliments. I must own the shadow, and you must own the light. So, if I start wearing sunscreen more often will you feel how amazing you are? Love is an archetype I have embodied for many years, but now it feels bigger than me, more powerful than my total awareness, and enveloping me like an ocean holds a jellyfish.
All I can do is float, drink in the vastness, and wonder where the tide will take us. As we grew in awareness and caring for each other, his physician schedule and activities pulled on us both like quicksand. A pattern emerged of frequently waiting for him to get off work, never knowing when that would be, cold dinners waiting at home, and communication breakdowns increasing.
I found myself frequently journaling in the glow of my laptop as he slumbered next to me in bed. So, I feel stressed. Maybe I need to ground, be quieter, be more zen. If I could wave a magic wand, I would just be about his schedule.
I would orbit around it, fitting my work/clients and life in here and there. Is that true? No. But there is a pull to do this. I am trying to conform myself to his needs, his life, and am suffering in the process.
The brutal hours plus the additional presentations, papers, and research requirements constantly sucked away the tiny hours of time we could find to spend together. The more exhausted he became, the more out of balance I felt.
It is so hard to wait for this man. I am so depleted. I just feel like curling up in his arms and crying, but there is nobody there to curl up into. It was studying for boards before; it is the roller coaster of ICU nights now.
He was so behind on sleep on the holidays he had off that instead of going to be with his family or mine, he stayed home and slept. I became increasingly hopeless that our connection could survive long-term. You haltingly asked for more time last night. You apologized for not fighting for us. I again stayed silent but hugged you. I told you that I had gone back and read what I had written over our months together. I could barely choke out the words of my hurt and surprise to find that you had asked me several times to open my heart.
Nodding, you thanked me. Throughout the night, the few hours I slept with you, whenever you stirred or woke, you kissed me, over and over through the night, my hand, my back, my chest.
You woke and kissed and went back to sleep. I was quiet. I was silent; I was watching. Your kisses seemed grateful, loving, with a hint of desperate, with a hint of, “I just woke up again and realized you are next to me in my arms still … and that is a miracle.” When we discussed the training demands of the medical profession, mostly he expressed utter hopelessness that it would ever change, and would speak of student loans and family relying on him.
When we went out of town for the weekend with some of his colleagues, the first conversation as a group was how to change the escalating demands of time, sleep, effort, that they were all suffering. Four months later, we broke up for good. We decided to cut it off cleanly and grieve our losses. He invited me out to dinner a month later to find some closure. After our meal, which was mostly silent, I proposed we walk around the neighborhood or go sit in a park and just be with each other one more time.
His reply seemed to say it all, “I’m too tired and have to work tonight.” That was the last time we spoke. While I recognize that my ex and I might have eventually ended our relationship anyways, I am haunted by how our relationship might have been different if he had worked more reasonable hours. In sharing my suffering publicly, my hope is that it might somehow bring new awareness and motivation to protect our physicians’ schedules so they might have more chance of work-life balance.
Ruth Diaz is founder, . Image credit:
Clinton L/123RF.com International learning and job experience usually increase your competitive advantage over domestic applicants in most business fields like marketing, finance, and human resource. Unfortunately, this rule of thumb is not applicable in the healthcare industry. If you are an International Medical Graduate (IMG), your chances of reserving a spot in US residency programs is lower than a typical US graduate.
This is mainly because: • Medical laws and practicing patterns vary significantly in different parts of the world. • Exposure and handling of clinical cases and application of theoretical knowledge differ significantly across the globe, based on cultural practices and federal laws.
• Many Program Directors (PDs) are skeptical about the quality of medical training and skillsets of international medical graduates, which makes this process even more tedious. It is absolutely necessary to develop an understanding of the federal healthcare laws and industry atmosphere before starting the application process.
Prior to Applying: Formulate your strategy and goals The first step is definitely to formulate a functional and practical strategy, based on simple facts and statistics. For example: • The longer you wait to finish the USMLE steps (United States Medical Licensing Exams), the lower will be your chances of getting in an accredited/preferred residency program (admit it, the PDs love fresh graduates).
• High scores secure your chances of an early match (a score of 230 or higher in USMLE Step 1 and Step 2 are considered safe for IMGs). • Select your area of interest or specialty and strive to build your resume to increase your chances of acceptance.
Be sensible in your choice of specialty selection: Your chances of getting interviews and a call for residency match are greatly dependent upon the choices you make. For example, some preferred specialties for IMGs based on the historical data are: • Internal Medicine • Psychiatry • Family Medicine • Pediatrics Some specialties where your chances are low (unless you have very high scores and superb clinical skillsets) are: • Obstetrics and Gynecology • Anesthesiology • Orthopedic surgery Keep yourself up-to-date: Develop a habit of frequently surfing these websites for the latest up-to-date information about the application process: • ( Electronic Residency Application Service) • ( Educational Commission for Foreign Medical Graduates) • ( National Resident Match Program) Join USMLE forums to learn more about the programs that are willing to sponsor your Visas.
Although ECFMG () offers J-1 Visas to applicants who are interested in a career in US healthcare industry, a number of other programs also offer H1B Visas to selected candidates. Building your Resume: Once you have your primary goals in line, now is the time to build your curriculum vitae and clinical experience profile. Some important steps are: Gain US Clinical Experience: It has been observed that IMGs who participate in observer-ship programs to gain clinical experience are more likely to match.
Many hospitals, research institutes, and private practices provide valuable opportunities to foreign graduates for internship, externship, volunteer-ship, and research assistance. Joining US institutes helps you in several ways: • Boost your Resume for the Residency Match • Acquaint yourself to the healthcare practices and environment of the US • Allow you to network with other graduates (US and non-US), in addition to doctors and researchers • Help you in getting recommendations and references You can start with an online search for hospitals and practices that are in need of volunteers.
You can also contact HR departments personally to increase your chances of consideration. Unfortunately, there aren’t many established institutions that accept foreign graduates for training purposes, but starting from research or laboratory divisions always gives you a good head-start.
Get your Hands on Publications: Your chances of getting in a residency program increase significantly if you have one or more publications in peer-reviewed scientific journals. This is a tedious task, but if you are working in a research institute or volunteering in a clinical trial program, it is not that difficult.
You can also utilize other channels such as: • Networking with other doctors and resident trainees (from your school or circle of friends) who are serving in different programs to contribute in an ongoing research study.
• Expressing your interest in being part of a research team on an ongoing study at your medical school or training hospital in your country.
Work as a Volunteer: In the worst-case scenario, you may get accredited for offering part-time volunteer services in not-for-profit organizations by: • Organizing public awareness walks and events (seminars) • Participating in health screening camps • Conducting surveys and collecting/analyzing data Working as a volunteer has many perks, especially if you don’t have a lot to highlight on your resume.
Application Process: Registration: After collecting your credentials and preparing an application, the next step is to register with NRMP (National Resident Matching Program). This site allows you to connect with the participating residency programs. Ideally, the process commences in mid-August each year and applications are accepted until Dec 1 st. You will need: • A Personal Statement – Ideally under one page to highlight your unique skillsets, qualifications, and an explanation of why you are the best candidate • Letters of recommendation from accredited US hospitals, doctors, and research specialists • Complete and up-to-date Resume • Complete ERAS Application • A cover letter – designed specifically for each program to address the Director of respective Program • Proof of graduation from an accredited medical school (letter from Dean and medical transcripts) • ECFMG report and USMLE Transcript It is noteworthy that certain states have additional requirements for residency applications.
For example, to be eligible for selection in the state of California, you must acquire an “Applicant Evaluation Status Letter” (issued and certified by California Medical Board).
Make sure to apply as early as possible; applications submitted after October are associated with a lower response rate.
Apply in IMG-Friendly Programs: If you are a foreign medical graduate, it is always a good idea to apply in as many programs as possible (ideally 25 to 30), mainly to: • Increase your chances of getting accepted in a program • Improve your interview and communication skills by appearing in front of different boards However, it is more important to apply in states that are more IMG-friendly.
For example, according to the latest data reported by NRMP Main Residency Report of 2013, more than 50% of the residents admitted in New Jersey 2013 residency programs are international medical graduates (193 graduates). Other IMG friendly states where the percentage of IMGs is low but the number of seats is overall higher include: • New York (738 graduates or 35.6% of all the new-residents) • Michigan 302 graduates or 40.7% of all the new-residents • Ohio (275 graduates or 30.0% of all the new residents) To learn more about the IMG-friendly states and statistics of last residency match, please review NRMP Manual: Appearing for the Interview: • Prepare yourself very well for the interview.
Dress professionally and act sophisticated, as first impressions and interview performance contribute approximately 60% to the acceptance in the program. • Make sure to write a ‘thank-you letter’ to the Program Director within 48-hours to express your interest in the program and appreciation for the opportunity provided.
In short, residency match is all about selling yourself effectively and highlighting your skillsets in a unique and powerful fashion. Make sure to get professional help if needed, especially when it comes to language skills, communication skills, and interview techniques.
To browse physician jobs please follow the link; . About Ayesha Khan, MD Ayesha Khan is a registered physician, former research fellow at New York University and an enthusiastic blogger. She authored several articles on healthcare topics in renowned newspapers and scientific journals.
Her blogs span a wide range of topics; from nutrition and wellness to supplements, medical research and alternative medicine. She is currently pursuing an MBA from Drexel University Philadelphia and loves reading and shopping in her spare time.
First Day as a Doctor: Medical Resident Vlog (26-hour call shift in hospital!!)