i like older guys as well getting to know one that's 22 years older then me. He is not the first guy. Don't know why i like them older. I do know that they know how to treat a girl make her feel all special. They are more like gentleman majority then. Bad thing is they can get insecure think you will dump them for a younger guy I'll just let you use your brain to decide what could oh possibly be the cons of dating someone twenty years older than you. Praise Luka · 9 years ago. 0 I'm dating someone 10 years older then me i need some advice like pros and cons? More questions. 30 year old, dating a 20 year old weird. shoud i stop? pros and cons? Any women married to or dating a significantly older guy of 20+ years? Answer Questions.
It seems like an age gap in relationships is becoming trendy. Many celebrities married women or men considerably younger then themselves. Here are few good examples: Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones or Geogre Clooney and Alamuddin with 17 years of gap in between them.
It has to be mentioned that older man and younger woman is a more popular combination than the vice versa. Let’s discuss some key reasons why that might happen and the benefits, as well as shortcomings such relations offer. Major pros and cons of dating an older man First of all, let us figure out if there is an ideal age gap for a couple to date and marry well? There have been a number of studies carried out on this subject.
Some of them show that 10 years age gap can increase your chances for divorce by some 40 percent, while the age gap of 20 years may almost leave no chance for a happy marriage and the divorce rate comes up to 95%! At the same time people of the same age or those with about 5 years of age gap have the best chances to stay together for good.
Now, besides the aforementioned fact, what are some of the other dating older men pros and cons? • Maturity Many women (even young girls) outrun men or boys in their development, both physically and emotionally.
Even teenage girls often times start dating older boys and for good reasons. Those boys are more mature, they have some experience, they know how to treat women and they are more fun to be with.
• Serious relationships Older guys seem to be more ready for serious stuff. They think about getting a family, kids and settling down. In many cases the coevals may not be ready for such a commitment. So, if a lady wants to marry, she might as well start dating up. • Money Older men had more time to get well established in life.
There are lesser risks you take with them. Who knows how a young guy would turn out? Would he be able to provide for his family? Would his career go up? Those questions are mainly settled with the older men. By the time a guy gets 30+ he should have it all figured out. You can pretty much tell if he is a failure or success. This kind of stability attracts many younger women.
• The past This one could be both a con and a pro. You cannot possibly get through life without making mistakes, being hurt and getting tons of experience (good or bad). If a guy learns from his past and gets smarter, it’s an advantage. But some men get stuck in their past. They still mourn their former relationships and partners. They wish to repeat the old love and that is one reason why they date younger girls. Or they feel so unconfident that they believe getting you – young and fresh can add up to their status.
So, basically, they might be just using you. • Sex Health and sex are two big concerns with dating up. If the age gap is considerable (10+ years) you should be prepared for some failures in bed on his side.
After 35 many men start having some problems in this area and they may not be able to come up to your standard or keep up with your desires. Major pros and cons of dating an older woman Now, is there a reason why a younger guy would date a cougar?
There are quite a few out there with some cons attached, too. Let’s take a look. • Self-confidence An older woman is confident and self-aware. She has already been through a lot and she has no time and desire to go through all that foolishness once again. She knows who she is and does not compete with the guy. • Independence Another one of dating older women pros and cons is their ability for self-support.
Surely, older women are more independent financially, but that is not all to look for. These ladies are also more independent emotionally. They do not cling too much to a man, as younger ones do. They have their own life and let their partner have theirs. We are not talking about cheating, but rather about interests, career, friends, time, etc.This could be a con, too. If she has more money than you do and she (or both) expects you to pay for night out and things like that, you may not be able to take her to kind of places she is used to.
• Sex Most women in their twenties have no idea of what they really want in bed. Surely, some of them have tons of sexual experience, but that is not the same thing. Female sexuality and sensuality gradually grows and reaches its apex in their 35+. So, these women are really hot. They are good looking and they know couple of tricks in bed to drive you nuts. • Kids This is something that could be a pro or a con, it depends on the guy.
First of all an older woman may have her kids from prior relations. Secondly, she might be done with having kids. So, if a man really plans on having kids, he should honestly discuss it with the woman. In any case, this could be a problematic area and you need to work on it and be aware of it. • Your parents and friends Your folks or pals may think it’s awkward for you to date an older lady and they may not be supportive. Still it mainly depends on what you two plan, how you act and how serious you are about your relationships.
As you see, such relations have both some significant pros and cons to offer and it is only up to you to decide and to make it work!
best pros and cons of dating someone older than younger self - Pros and Cons of Dating an Older ManAsk Love Doctor
Share this... • • • • • by , intro & edits by Jeff Campbell Looking for the Pros and Cons of Dating Older Men? I think you’ll agree with me that there’s something intriguing about dating or marrying someone much older or younger. As we get introduced to their world (and they to ours) it broadens our experience and perspectives. We find ourselves in new situations and looking at the world in a new way. But dating someone significantly older or younger has its challenges too. Habits, pop culture interests, energy levels and what we do for fun can be radically different.
But fear not. In this post, we’re taking a look at the world of dating older men. We’ll review all the top reasons this can work and some of the challenges they present. That way as you review the pros and cons of dating older men, you can decide if that type of relationship is right for you. Pros and Cons of Dating Older Men – PROS An older man probably made or seen all the mistakes that you are yet to make, so he will know how to guide you or advise you.
Whether in the bedroom or in life, older men don’t have a problem being leaders and helping their partners reach the next level. Also, confidence often comes with experience, and there are very few things more attractive than that. 2. They know how to communicate With younger men, there is always that issue of them not responding to your messages for hours, which can be quite frustrating.
On the other hand, one thing an older man is never going to do is ignore his partner. They understand . They are also capable of expressing themselves much more clearly. Most importantly, they actually want to talk about everything, and they are good listeners as well. 3. They are stable Older men are much more stable, both financially and emotionally. Now, just because a woman wants to be with somebody who has a nice job and a stable income does not automatically mean she’s a gold digger.
The thing is, older men are not only better at earning money but also at investing, spending it wisely and saving for the future, which is quite comforting regardless of the age.
Such a man is also less likely to play emotional games and has unrealistic expectations about love. They know what they want, and thanks to the above-mentioned communication skills, they won’t leave their girlfriends guessing. There are also benefits to being an . So if kids might be in the picture down the road, it’s important to know that too! 4. They are not afraid of commitments As much as people dislike talking about this death, everybody has an “expiration date”. An older man knows that his is just a bit sooner than his partner’s.
He’s been dating for a while, or already been married and divorced once. He knows his goals in life (and has probably already reached a few).
Thus, he’s ready for a meaningful relationship with one person. This means that if the girl has some of the , he will commit to her with all his heart. 5. They know how to please a woman sexually Let’s be frank and call it what it is. Older men have been around the block a few times.
They may have been married once and have doubtlessly dated a number of other women. Thus, in the bedroom, they just flat out have the experience that a twenty-something just isn’t going to have.
His libido may have dropped a little, but he’ll more than make up for it with his intimate knowledge of how to please you. Pros and Cons of Dating Older Men – CONS The cons are where the taboos come from.
Of course, they are just stereotypes and can occur in any relationship, but still, it’s good to keep them in mind. 1. Your parents may not approve Meeting your partner’s family is always exciting, to say the least. However, when your man is closer to your parents’ age than to yours, it can become a bit awkward. Not everybody understands such relationships, especially when their family members are involved. However, if you and your partner keep showing them how happy you are together, the opposing family members will be more likely to come around.
2. Older men might not take their younger partner seriously Unfortunately, age does not always equal maturity. Instead of becoming wiser as they get older, some men just become condescending. This leads to them not taking their partner seriously. They may even be patronizing to their younger partners because they think they always know better. They sometimes are not even willing to try to see things from a different perspective, which nobody finds attractive.
3. They can be too possessive An older man may feel threatened by your younger male friends. This can lead to him trying to control you.
Sometimes an older man dating a younger woman can be insecure. This is mostly because they are aware of their aging looks and their lack of energy. Thus, jealousy can spring up and turn your amazing older man into a . 4. They are not the life of the party A mature man sometimes prefers quiet evenings and dinner dates to partying in a club. After all, they have already gone through the stage of their life where they were going out and living it up.
If you still like going out and dancing all night, try to find a balance between what you like and what your partner does. If he’s really not into clubbing, you can always call your girlfriends and make it a girls’ night out. Did we cover all the pros and cons of dating older men you wanted to see? In this post, we took a detailed look at relationships women have with older men. Every relationship comes with certain challenges.
So we compiled a list of the top pros and cons of dating older men. That way you can really analyze whether dating older men or staying in your current relationship with an older man is right for you. What is the age difference in your relationship? About the author of this post: Thank you for this wonderful post. It hits home and is encouragement.
I am a younger woman in a relationship with someone 26 years older than me. Our relationship is beyond great and we plan to get married, but like you said, there are cons, and that specifically is due to stereotyping and family. Thank you for getting awareness out there and sharing this.
• Thanks for taking the time to comment! As a husband who is 17 years older than my wife, I can definitely a test that the challenges are different when the two people are similar in age, but I definitely wouldn’t have it any other way and I don’t think my wife would either. We’ve been happily married now for over 12 years! Thanks for being here, Jeff • So I been seeing this guy, we are pretty much good friends with benefits, he is 45 and I am 34, He doesn’t want to commit because he is worried about the age difference as far as me not being in my prime yet and worrying about when he gets older and has equipment issues.
How do I make that not an issue to him? – Diana C • Hi Diana Thanks for commenting. At the time of my response I’m 53 and my wife is about to turn 37; a 16.5 year age difference. In your case the age difference is barely over a decade. It’s also not uncommon for guys to be older in relationships, so my first thought, which admittedly could be totally off base, is that there is some other reason he’s scared to commit.
If he’s concerned about ED issues, those will be concerns no matter who his partner is and there are manageable soltutions to that issue too. If it was a 20+ year age difference I could accept him being cautious but an 11 year difference is fairly common. You mention “seeing him” but also describe him as a friend with benefits, and to me, those are 2 different things.
If you’re dating, then the relationship should be progressing and should involve more than just sex and would fairly quickly become exclusive. In the other scenario while you might hang out some platonically you wouldn’t be going on dates and the relationship would mostly be sexual.
There would also not likely be any agreement about being exclusive. I suggest describing exactly what you’re looking for in the relationship, letting him know you’re prepared to be patient about issues relating to aging and see what his response is. Don’t put demands or expectations on him, just clearly and plainly say what you want from the relationship.
If he’s not on board then I would probably end the relationship altogether unless you are able to separate the sexual relationship from your feelings. Hope that helps.
Feel free to chime in with additional info if you think it helps or follow up after you’ve had that conversation. Thanks Jeff
Why would a man want to date an older woman? Well, older women are often more mature, and financially independent, but they can also be better lovers and usually won't mess with your head too much. These are just some of the positive aspects of dating an older woman.
It is still quite typical, almost cliche to see an older man with a much younger woman. There is still a ways to go before the idea of a woman dating a man much younger than her becomes fully accepted. It's time that men start realizing the benefits of dating older women.
A lot of the time, we complain that women don't know what they want and that they're high maintenance. Well, why not change things up and try dating women that can appreciate some of the different things a man has to offer.
For instance, let's take the example of a man in his mid-twenties who dates a woman in her early or mid-thirties; it is likely that he will go through an enriching life changing experience. Your average twenty-year-old woman is energetic, ambitious and out to get things done. Now, you take a woman in her thirties, chances are she's lived a little more.
She's learned that the world isn't all it was cracked up to be, and she's less likely to be over-enthusiastic about driving twenty miles to go to dance clubs that charge a twenty dollar cover and serve cherry flavored water. This means that in exchange for peace of mind, you have to be willing to accept some of the implications that may come with dating an older woman.
More often than not, however, the advantages overwhelmingly surpass the drawbacks. The Cons Let's start with the not-so-good news. Commitment and Biological Clocks: There's nothing wrong with a May-September relationship because a woman has as much right as a man to like someone younger.
To find that perfect older woman, you might have to consider her plans to start a family. Remember, her biological clock is ticking real fast. Since she wants to date a young man, however, there might be a chance that she just wants to have fun with an energetic man without having to worry about having babies.
So before jumping into a relationship, find out if she's looking to have kids right away. Past Baggage: Along with those great years of sexual experience, some unresolved issues and excess baggage may come attached to the package and should be considered because well, life happens.
Ex-boyfriends, husbands, children, ex-step-children, pending divorces, business pressures, financial obligations, and debts can often be part of the package. You must be ready and willing to accept this reality if you are going to get romantically linked with an older woman. This is not to say that you will be asked to deal with these issues per se; rather, you must realize that an older woman generally has more to worry about than that bushy-tailed co-ed at your dorm.
Mrs. Robinson: One cannot deny the allure of the older woman, younger man relationship. But, this relationship remains slightly taboo, unlike the other way around, where the man is much older than the woman, which still to this day remains more widely acceptable. After all, no one raised an eyebrow when Catherine Zeta-Jones married Michael Douglas. Like it or not, by getting involved with an older woman, you are putting yourself in a situation where the moral majority — people like your parents and boss — might frown upon you and question your decision.
On the up side, you may become your buddies' hero, and they will start begging you to reveal what it's like. In any case, people will talk.
If you are secure enough in the relationship, or you actually like the attention, then by all means, proceed. The cougar: While we're on the topic of what people will think, keep in mind that older women have been dubbed "" and they get a bad rep.
In this type of relationship, it seems the woman is often in control. Some think that a woman who dates a younger man does so because she can easily manipulate him; that the man in question will be so awestruck by her attention that he will go along with whatever she says. But this is only a myth and certainly does not necessarily apply to every situation. The pros On to the good news: the benefits of dating the cougar. Experience: It's amazing what an extra ten years of experience can teach you.
Older women don't beat around the bush (they let you do that). They know exactly what they want and they know what to do to get it. A man is terrible when it comes to taking the time and effort to figure out what a woman really wants. An older woman has learned not to waste precious time waiting for the man in the shining armor to sweep her off her feet. More often than not, an older woman has faced her insecurities and fears head on, and has dealt with them to the best of her abilities. She likely has enough life experience to know what matters and what doesn't.
Consequently, she's above the petty nonsense that drives you crazy about women your own age. An older woman has figured out what looks good on her, and knows enough about male-female relationships to not bother you with feminine trivialities that usually serve to turn men off. Older women have the self-confidence that could only come from experience and the knowledge that they can handle whatever life throws their way.
That is not to say that they never have a bad day, but merely that it's probably due to something more than the fact that they have a pimple and a party to go to that night. Independence: Older women are often more established in their careers and rely less on a man to support them or a potential future family. An older woman's independence is a strong stress reliever for any man.
This takes away some of the pressure from a man's shoulder to support the relationship (i.e. you won't go broke). There are exceptions to the rule of course but generally the more professional experience she has, the more ability she has to pay for her way.
Maturity: Older women know how to appreciate the truer things in life. They don't play head games and don't value the materialistic ideals that are pushed through the media. You might be happy to find out that it's possible to carry a meaningful conversation without worrying too much about discussing trivialities.
You also don't have to worry about returning her home before midnight to meet a curfew. The benefit of dating an older woman is especially apparent on vacations. Younger women sometimes have the tendency wanting to always want to do something.
They might say silly things like, "We paid all this money to be here, we should make the most of it." This is a phrase that no man in his right mind ever wants to hear.
A man goes on vacation to drink over-priced beer while sitting in a Jacuzzi contemplating what to order next at the all-you-can-eat restaurant. Boy toy: Often, older women are newly divorced, and looking to have a good time.
Getting involved with a man who isn't looking for a serious relationship and wants to have fun is the perfect solution. Younger men have the stamina and carefree attitude to satisfy their need for a wild ride. So, if you're looking to learn a thing or two between the sheets, look no further than an older woman. After all, she's no longer sexually inhibited, knows what she wants, and probably has a few tricks up her sleeve.
Go for it Well, I hope my little rant has helped open some minds, but most likely if you're a man, you probably weren't listening, and if you're a woman, you already know I'm full of rubbish. I encourage most men to give this whole idea a second thought, I bet you'll save yourself a lot of headaches. In the end, it's up to you to weigh the pros and cons of such a relationship and decide if it is right for you right now.
Let's see, the prospect of with an experienced, confident woman, without the expectation of a long-term commitment — I know, it's a tough call. Related Readings
The Pros & Cons of Dating Someone 10+ Years Older